This checklist is on line at http://www.jollyrogerh3.com/SOE%20Scripted%20&%20Instructions.htm
JRH3 CIRCLE AT THE START
Black = Titles & Emphasis, Blue = Instructions & information, Red = Phrases to recite, Green = Words to sing
First and foremost, we promote physical fitness at
this hash. So, DO NOT suggest anyone do a pre-trail down down except for the
most previous FRB and FBI.
Greeting: Blow your whistle and yell "Circle up!..... Welcome to the Jolly Roger Hash House Harries run # ________! Arrrrrr!"
Chalk: Point to the chalk bucket and say "Will someone please hand out chalk ? Everyone should take a peicee of chalk to mark trail."
Head Lamps & Flashlights: If its going to be dark
on trail, pick someone to pass out headlamps & flashlights. If not skip to
the next item now. "Will someone please hand
out headlamps & flashlight"?
*Live Hare Chalk Talk: *If its a dead trail skip this and the next item. The chalk talk should be done in the middle of the circle. Putting it off to the side just breaks up the flow and organization of the circle. "Lets get the hares in here to do a chalk talk. And the hares, and the hares, and the hares on her dicky diver hung down to her knees..."
*Live Hare Toast: After the hares do the chalk talk say "Get down on your knees bioches! Insert a personalized toast here if you have one, or else make one up. End the toast with "How much time do you need?" Once the hare(s) answer, say. "Will someone please time them?" And then say, "ON OFF, or Hares Away!"
JRH3 1st Timers: "If you've never been to a Jolly Roger hash before, please join me in the circle at this time, including first time visitors." ask each person these questions and repeat loudly what they say "Who RU???.... Say hello ____." Pause and wait for the pack to respond. "And who made U cum?" Wait for answer. "Where RU from?" Wait for answer. "And, what do you do?" Wait for answer. "Welcome to the Jolly Roger Hash House Harriers hash ."
Entertainment: "At the end of this trail we're going to bring you back into the circle again and ask you to entertain us. So, while you're on trail be thinking of a short joke, a short song, an interpretive dance, or something else you think might be entertaining to us." DO NOT SUGGEST THEY SHOW US A BAWDY PART! Leave that up to the pack to say, or not. "You can entertain us by yourself or as a group. Its totally up to you. Invite the returning visitors in the circle with the JRH3 1st timers still in the circle.
Returning Visitors: "At this time I
would like to have all the out-of-town visitors that have been to a Jolly
Roger hash before,
join me in the circle".
Ask each person
these questions and repeat loudly what they say)
After they answer say. Say hello _____.
And where RU from again?
After they answer, say
"Welcome back to the Jolly Roger Ha3." DO NOT ask
returning visitors, who made them cum, what they
do, or to entertain us, because if they are
returning hashers, they should've told us all that and entertained us the
first time they attended a JRH3 hash.
Introductions: "Now that we know who you are, we're going to tell you who we are." Point to a few people outside the circle until they automatically continue on their own and say. "Who are you?" After introductions are complete, say "Okay, you may all leave the circle now." DO NOT SAY "Get out of my circle". Its not your circle. We're just allowing you to run the circle and telling them to get out of the circle is rude. Be nice. Its your job as the RA to be everyone's best friend).
Naming Candidates: "Name Mistress/Master
(NM), are there any naming candidates for this hash"?
If so, the Naming Mistress/Master will need a moment to
make the announcement. If the Naming Mistress/Master is not present, the
Acting OnSec should automatically pick up this function and make the
announcement. The GM, or Acting GM should have already advised you of this before
circle started, but just in case he/she didn't, always ask anyways. The NM
should say "We
are going to try to name Just_____________ at circle at the end. See me
person) during the
trail, at the beverage stop(s), or at the end to look over the Naming
Questions Form the candidate(s) has either already filled out, or they are
in the process of filling it out now so we can expedite the naming process.
Turn circle back
over to the RA.
Previous FRB & FBI: Get the metal chains and the light weight plastic chain out and determine who the most recent Front Running Boy (FRB) & First Babe In (FBI) that is present from the list on the RA's bullet checklist (skip their name if they are one of the hares). Then say "Will _____&____ please join me the circle. In the JRH3 we have a tradition of giving the most recent FRB & the FBI attending, a little extra weight to carry on trail and we ask them to do a pre-trail down down to slow them down, down. This is your down down song, it is not very long, drink it down down,...." (**If this is a live trail skip the next two items).
**Dead Hare Chalk Talk: The chalk talk should be done in the circle. Putting it off to the side just breaks up the flow and organization of the circle. "Lets get the hares in here to do a chalk talk. And the hairs, and the hairs, and the hairs on her dicky diver hung down to her knees..."
**Dead Hare Blessing: After the hares do the chalk talk say "Get down on your knees bioches! Repeat after me" Insert a personalized poem here if you have one "Bless this hare, bless this trail, coppus no catch us, doggus no bite us, heatus no stroke us. In the name of the flour, the fun & the shittyrun,... which way do we go? ON OFF! (skip next 2 items if this is a dead hare trail).
Hash Aerobics: Do this for live hare trails only to burn time. "Spread out for hash aerobics, so you don't hit the guy next to you in the face". "Father Abraham, had seven sons, seven sons had Father Abraham, and he never laugh, and he never cried, all he did is go like this. With a left." Repeat above lyrics replacing left, with right and continue until both arms and legs have been used) etc.... Another good song is the Chicken Song which is based on the same kind of aerobic exercise as the Father Abraham.
Headlanps & Flashlights If some of trail will be in the dark say, "Its going to be dark on trail, so everyone should carry a flashlight or headlamp.
On Out: Once the appropriate time has elapsed, yell "ON OUT!" to the pack.
JRH3 CIRCLE AT THE END
Philosophy: The JRH3 is a kinder, gentler hash. We "kindly" suggest hashers do things in this hash. We do not make anybody do anything. We do not touch anybody, unless we have their direct consent. We do not pour beer on each other. We never suggest people do "honorary" down downs bare assed on ice, except for hares, and then only in very, very rare instances when the trail really, really sucked and they agree to it, but never virgins or virgin hares. We do not do tea bag downs in this hash unless the one drinking specifically asks for one. The same goes for butt chugs).
Hash Raffle: If its a Saturday, the JRH3 normally conducts a raffle. If the Raffle Meister is present remind him to hand out raffle tickets (on to each person). "If anyone has something they wish to donate to the hash raffle, please do so at this time." Put raffle donations where the middle of circle will be.
Circle Up: Blow your whistle and yell "Circle up for down downs! Once again, welcome to the ______ running of the Jolly Roger Hash House Harriers!
Hash Raffle: Ask the Raffle Meister to conduct a Raffle if its a Sat and there are donations to raffle off.
Collect Chalk: "Will someone please collect the chalk?"
Trail Trial: "Lets get the hares in here for a trail trial". And the hairs, and the hairs, and the hairs on her dicky diver hung down to her knees.. "When I count to 3 put your thumb up if you liked trail, your thumb down if didn't like trail and if you don't care, just go home." Bin'g the minority in and have them drink with the hare(s). Ask each person in the circle "What did you or didn't you like about trail?" Then say "All in all it was just another shitty trail!" SHI-TTY T-R-A-I-L, shitty trail, shitty trail, the mother f*ckers laid a shitty trail. I would rather drink a beer than run your shitty trail. SHI-TTY T-R-A-I-L. Drink it down down.
JRH3 1st timers: "Will JRH3 1st timers please join me in the circle again." Ask each person "Who RU again? Did you have a good time? RU going to come back?" Its real important to get them to verbally commit to coming back. "Before trail we told you we were going to ask you to entertain us at the end." Ask each person in the circle "What are you going to do to entertain us?"
Down Down Instructions: "Make sure your vessels are at least half full. Now we're going to sing you a song. When you hear the words down, down, down... put your cup to your lips and start drinking, When you remove it, put the cup upside down over your head. What doesn't go in ya, goes on ya. There's no time limit, so no need to rush. You put your cup in your hand. You put the beer in the cup. You put it to your lips, and you lift the bottom up. If you let it leave your mouth, you give your cranium a douse. So, make sure you drink it down, down, down, down."
Returning Visitors: (Skip this if there were none at the start) "At this time I would like to have all the returning visitors back in the circle". (Ask each person) "Who RU again? (Ask the group) "Do you (or) (any of you) have a song?" (If not, then sing them) "Here's to fellow hashers, fellow hashers, fellow hashers, here's to fellow hashers may they chug-a-lug. They're happy, they're jolly, they're f*cked up by golly. Here's to fellow hashers may they chug-a-lug. So drink mother f*cker, drink mother f*cker, drink mother f*cker, drink mother f*cker, here's to fellow hashers my they chug-a-lug."
FRB:________ & FBI:________ One must be male & the other female. Whoever comes in first is the FRB. The first person in of the other gender is the FBI. "Lets get the previous FRB and FBI into the circle. Have the previous FRB & FBI hand the new FRB & FBI appropriate awards). "They're the meanest, they suck the horses penis, they're the meanest, they're the horses ass. Ever since they found it, all they do is pound it, they're the meanest they're the horses ass, so drink mother f*cker, drink mother f*cker, drink mother f*cker, drink."
Multiples: Skip to this item of there are no name circled on the RA's checklist. "Some people like to cum abs cu again. Will the following people please join me in the circle". Invite the hashers with their names circled on the RA's checklist. They must have actually done some portion of today's trail, or at least driven the beer truck to get the award. Recite how many runs each awardee hash starting from the lowest to the highest. "Will someone please take a photo of the multiples presentations?" Get a life, get a life, get life, life, life, life..... Drink it down, down,..."
Hare Tags: Skip this item if there are no name circled on the RA's checklist. "Will _______________________ come into the circle to get their _____ trail hare tag? Will someone take a photo of the hare tag presentation please?
Cleansing of the Brainless Award: (Look at the list on the RA's bullet checklist to find the most recent brainless award winner, who is present, and ask them to cleanse the brainless award using their own beverage). "Previously ________________was our most current brainless award who is present. Please join me in the circle at this time with the sacred vessel to cleanse it. Just put your own drink in it and slosh it around a little and then drink out of it to show us that it is clean."
Brainless Award: "Are there any nominations for the brainless award?" Do not go in order. Skip around from one side of the circle to the next to keep side conversation from developing. As they are nominated, invite them all into the circle and then ask the pack to vote for the winner. "Join me in the circle,..... As I put may hand over each nominees head, vote for your favorite". Once a winner has been determined ask the group for beer donations. Its better if the RA walks the brainless award around the circle to get beer donations from the pack because the winners of the award usually have the tendency to run around the circle quickly so as to avoid getting too much beer donated. And the pack then winds up throwing beer towards the award and the winner and the whole process just becomes an out of control mess. Once the award hash beer in it, ask somebody for a down down song.
General Accusations: Optional! We specifically ask for "General Accusations" after the Brainless Awards because we new hasher that make dumb accusation to get used up during the Brainless Award nominations. See below if pack does not come up with any on their own). Birthdays: "Does anybody have a birthday, this month?" Anniversaries: "Does anybody have an anniversary they would like to celebrate, this month? Awardless: Headbands/bandanas, hare tags and mismanagement tags. Themeless: (Skip this item if there was not a theme). Hash Attire: (If there was a theme, skip this item for people wearing something associated with the theme). Gone Too Long: (missed more than 2 JRH3 hashes in a row.) Autohashing: (not beer truck driver). Late Cumer: (meaning you arrived after the on off time). New Shoes: This is voluntary only! Put cup in shoe if they're reluctant to drink out of their shoe! Slackers: Only ask this if we don't have a hare for the next trail. Say "Will those local hashers who haven't hared in over 6 months please join me in the circle "Other: down, down,..."
"Name Miester (NM), are we going to try to name
If so, temporatily turn circle over to NM to read
the naming questionnaire, or conduct the naming yourself is there is no NM
__________________________________ please join me in the circle."
Naming Questions: Read the info from the Naming Question Form filled out by the naming candidate(s) in advance. If the naming candidate did not already fill out a Naming Question Form ask them the following questions out loud;
"Your nerd name is__________________________________."
"Your childhood nickname was _________________________."
"___________________________________ made you cum.
"You do ______________________________ work for a living."
"You are (married, single ot divorced)."
If divorced skip to next item. It they've never been divorced ask. "You've been divorced _________ times
"Your hobbies include _______________________________________________.
"Your favorite sexual position is _________________________"
"Your friends say that _____________________________________________________________________________makes you unique."
"Your favorite cartoon character is_______________________________________"
_________________________________ is the most unusual place you've ever had sex?
The special name for your body part(s) is/are________________________________________"
If male "You wanker is (small, medium, or large)." If female "You bra size is _____________."
"Your most embarassing monent is _____________________________________________". if nothing was indicated say "Being asked these questions?
__________________________________________________is your pet peeve? "
"Your body marks include" (tatooes, scars, etc) ___________________________________________. (If no body marks say) "You have no unique body marks."
(sk the next two question even if you have a Naming Question Form filled out "Is there any other information that you want to be know about yourself?
Does anybody in the pack have a question for them?" Do not go in order, skip around from one side of the circle to the next to keep side conversation from developing.
(virgins, or an un-named hasher)___________________
please take this individual out of hearing range
they are out of hearing distance, start taking naming suggestions.
"I am now
accepting naming suggestions" Do not go in order, skip
around from one side of the circle to the next to keep side conversation from
developing. Write down all suggestions.
Voting on a Name: There is no reason to review naming
recite each name you were given and wait for the applause. You can
eliminate poorly applauded names as you recite them. "Please
appauld the loudest for your favorite
name. If you hear a better name later applaud louder" Eliminate poorly applauded names and then recite remaining
names. Repeat until you get it down to one name".
The Naming: Blow your whistle to bring back the naming nominee. "We've had many suggestion on what to name you. Some of them include (recite top few). But, hence forth and forevermore, until we decide to change it, you shall be known as __________." "Here's to _______" he/she's true blue, he/she's a hasher thru and thru. He/she's piss pot so they say. Tried to go to heaven but he/she turned out gay. Drink it down, down,...." (Repeat steps 25-28 for each naming candidate and then turn the circle back over to the RA when you are finished).
Departing Hashers: Get enough flower to cover a person's shoes and a piece of chalk and then say "Will _____ please join me in the circle?" Have someone put flower on the departee's shoes so as to leave an outline of their shoes and then say "Please jump backwards about 5 feet" Have someon write the person's name in front of their feet outline with chalk, or flour. "Will someone please take a picture of this! (Then sing) "We hate to see you go, We hate to see you go. We hope the f*ck you never come back, but we hate to see you go. Drink it down, down, down down,....." "Okay, you may now leave. Goodbye & good luck, you f*cking f*ck!"
Announcements: "Where & when is the next JRH3 hash?" (pause) "Where's the on after and how do you ge there?" (pause and then say). "Are there any other announcements?" (pause and then say)
Swing Low: If there are no virgins or out-of-town visitor, conduct the short veron of Swing Low. "Pots on the floor! Men's version"."Swing low, sweet chariot, cuming, ZZZZ...." Or do the ladies version, ending with cuming, cuming, cuming... instead of the ZZZZ... Or if there are virgins or visitors, sing the whole song. "Swing low, sweet chariot, cuming for to carry me home. Swing low, sweet chariot, cuming 4 2 carry me home. I looked over Jordon and what did eye C? Coming 4 2 carry me home. A band of angels, cuming after me, cuming 4 2 carry me home. If you get there before eye doo, coming 4 2 carry me home. Tell all my friends, I'm cuming 2, cuming 4 2 carry me home. "May the hash go in peace". The pack normally responds with may the hash get a piece.