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Hare Toast
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Standard

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Hare, RA, OnSec/Hash Cash, FRB, FBI & Brainless Award Winner (Basic Hash Trash)
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Rectal Room Mate was the solo hare, as Lady Gag Gag couldn't get off work in time to co-hare. KISS was the RA, Gritty Kitty was the FBI, 2 Rung Circus was the FBB and Rectal won the Brainless Award for using the beer truck to go find some walkers while the majority of the pack was waiting at the end with no beer.

Dab

Commentary (Expanded Hash Trash)

This one should have been nicknamed the "missing things" trail... even Rectal's cohare (who signed up to hare because "she misses JRH3") was inexplicably missing. Anyway, the trail began with walkers that couldn't even find the correct direction of on out. Seriously, how long were we all roaming around the parking lot like bumbling idiots? Clearly both 2Rung and ShittingBull also got lost, as neither found the beer check. One thing was for sure - Gritty wasn't going to be losing her pup; she was observing "safety third" in a neon vest that could be seen for miles. And one thing Just Zora and others DID find on trail was the homeless guy at the "pedo bear check". Later the beer van itself got lost and couldn't find On In, leaving the pack of 20+ hounds dying of thirst. Black Sheep (Atlanta) visitor, BurntRubber, was so thirsty that he demanded a refund... I still don't know if he was kidding. Let's cut Rectal some slack though, he couldn't think straight after OnAhead missed and basically backhanded his balls while trying to demonstrate a salmon check in opening circle. Speaking of which, the salmon check on trail was practically camouflaged among the 30 other fish drawings in the parking lot of the Islamorada Fish Company. At least a few of us appreciate your sense of humor, R2! In other trail encounters, SepticYank demonstrated his senility by having an entire conversation with MathSucks about their upcoming trail, only to realize 5 minutes later that he had actually been talking to OnAhead that whole time. Similarly, during celebrations, Dab was surprised to hear that this month is the Jolly Roger anniversary and that we're all celebrating by taking a cruise (spots still available!). Finally, KISS won the award for dumbest question of the night when she asked late-comer Bovine, "where did you come from?!" We all know the answer: From behind!

Announcements: MathSucks and SepticYank will be haring in South Tampa next week (1/11). We need a hare for 1/25 and most of February!

Approximate Map of True Trail

Coming soon if somebody submits one...

Trail Info (actual data)

JRH3 Trail #1617
Wed, Jan 4th, 2023
Rectal Room Mate's & Lady Gag Gag's
Hooter's Trail
https://fb.me/e/2ufaonkDV

Where: Parking lot behind Ethan Allen Furniture Store, 10015 E Adamo Dr, Tampa, FL 33619, https://goo.gl/maps/q7nGdkawWiLLjrgC6. 
 
On Before/Dinner & Drinks: 5-6 PM, Brandon Hooters, 10023 E Adamo Dr, Tampa, FL 33619, https://g.page/BrandonHooters?share. 

Check In: 6-7 PM, behind Ethan Allan, https://goo.gl/maps/tzTL2naMim9jems56.

Trail: 7 PM, 3+ mi, shiggy level 2, http://www.jollyrogerh3.com/Shiggy%20Meter.htm, trail.

Hares: Rectal Room Mate & Lady Gag Gag.

Hash Cash: $4 for bottled water & snacks, $7 for bottled water, beer & snacks, $10 for bottled water, beers, hard cider, hard seltzer water, craft beer & snacks. Pay by cash, check, money order, Venmo, at https://venmo.com/RICHARD-GEERS, Cash App to dab@jollyrogerh3.com, ph/text # 813-943-4855.

Safety: Please carry your mobile phone on trail with you, in case you get lost, so we can contact you to make sure your are Okay. The days of no technology on trail is long gone at this hash. Also, bring a head lamp, or flashlight, and maybe reflective attire, as this trail will be in the dark.

On After: In the Brandon Hooters, same as the on before.