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Thumper Humper
Hare, FRB, FBI & Brainless Award Winner
(Basic Hash Trash)
.
Thumper Humper, Dog F*cker, & Pythagorean Semen will be the hares and Shitty Name won the Brainless Award.
The FRB & FBI Awards were not awarded due to the nature of this trail.
Inda Linda won the Ugliest
Sweater Contest followed by I Be Smart for 2d place and Smack My Bitch Up for
3rd place.
Dab
12 Down Downs For Hashmas Poems
Pythagorean
Semen:
Pythagorean Semen is amazing now and then
At least to all those "18-year-olds" that he turns into men
Gay Rodeo Clown:
GRC owns some dogs that melt the hearts of guests
Though most guys are busy trying to melt into her breast
Dabadoo:
If you ask, then Dabadoo is sure to share his scotch
Especially if you're a girl and flash your kilted crotch
Goes Down Easy:
Goes Down Easy is a great dame, though just a tad naive,
That guy didn't want a drunk female "friend" that night last New Year's Eve
Just Salenna:
Just Salenna is well known as a hula-hooping star
And for trying to hop a fence and just ending up with a scar
U-Drive, I'll Fuck:
U-Drive is a hasher that's generous--she'll give you quite a lot,
Such as her opinion on everything, whether you want to hear it or not
Honey Bunches of Pussy:
I hear that Honey Bunches likes her women sweet,
'Cuz when they taste like sugar, they're much more fun to eat
Ranger Ralph & Just Ali:
Just Ali is sure to pay the price if Ranger gets too drunk tonight
Just ask Ranger Ralph how he got his name and watch his wife's eyes ignite
Virgins:
Jasmine, Wayne, and Pamela are all quite brave today
They're all virgins (once again), but they won't stay that way!
Goo Light Special:
Goo is injured again, so she's driving the van
12 shots AFTER trail is her master plan (hand her bag of shots)
Head-Plant Vagina:
(To the tune of "oh what a beautiful morning")
There's a small touch of gray on my pillow
There's a small touch of gray on my pillow
Then I heard a big sigh
and I looked to my side
To an adorable smile and a pair of green eyes
Woke up with HPV this morning
'Cuz I drank with him last night
I wonder if Thumper will join us
'cuz something about this feels right
Thumper Humper:
(to the tune of the Chipmunk's "Christmas Time is Here")
Thumper Humper is our hare
But her tits she will not bare
Needed a plan to see her tats
The jewelry store can kiss my ass
Bought a rock on a golden hoop
So I could stick it where she poops
Now I'm broke but life is great
'Cuz I don't have to masturbate
Bed & Buckfest :
Bed & Buckfest, what's that smell
Coming from your hasher hotel?
Is it some old shiggy socks?
No! It's your breath that smells like Lepra's cock.
Lepracock :
Tall as a parking meter, long brillo pad hair,
What is it about Lepracock that makes B&B stare?
She giggled and smiled and called him over and gestured with a nod
The he lifted his kilt and yelled at me, "I'm a fucking Irish tripod!"
Urine Trouble:
(To the tune of "Would You Like to Swing on a Star?")
Would you go pee behind a bar?
Or between the doors of a car?
Or in circle right where you are?
If you do, then Urine Trouble
Hazukashii :
(To the tune of "Greatest American Hero")
The bastard child of G
The Chuck Norris of hashing itself
Started half the kennels all over the world
And hashed with everyone else
Believe it or not, it's Hazukashii,
The cow-hatted, retired Marine
He shits flour plops and pisses cold beer
Who could it be?
Hash legend, Hazukashii
Monkey See, Monkey Poo :
Monkey See, Monkey Poo,
Who's that in the tent with you?
I bet next time you'll wear clothes to bed
So it's not so easy to get raped by Ted
I thought you wanted to forget your horrible past
but I hear you now have a honey pot tattooed on your ass
Whornament :
If there's anything Whornament can teach us,
About life and how to get far
If you can't provide grass or gas,
you're getting fucked on the hood of a car
Kitty Litter :
(To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")
Oh I love Kitty Litter
Though he's old as fucking dirt
And he only wears a sweater when
he takes off his own shirt
Shitty Name:
Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife,
Shitty Name's in town.
He has his ranger panties up
And he's looking to lay it down.
When it comes to girls' age his limits don't yield
'Cuz as long as there's grass under the lights
He's good to play the field
Smack My Bitch Up:
Some women like romantic men
who ride white horses in the sand,
But as for Smack, she'll just take
The back of her lover's hand
Willy Wanka and the Cum Factory:
Junior couldn't make it
But the Shitty one pulled through
but it doesn't matter to Willy,
'Cuz any Rick will do.
Dog Fucker:
Dog finally realized that rabbits are where it's at
So he gave up dogs and started tapping Thumper's ass
No Tits 4 You:
There's a pretty pirate wench in a red dress sailing Tampa Bay
But when she gets you from be and yells No Tits 4 You
You'll be left feeling gay
Inda Linda:
Inda and I have laid many a trail through the years
We've been rock stars and porn stars
But I guarantee
She hasn't gotten this hot tail
Just Mike:
Just Mike with his dapper accent
and highly intelligent mind,
Doesn't know he's the closest thing to a gay man
That Inda Linda could find
When Fairy Met Sally:
It must be hard for Fairy,
Living in the shadow of my rainbow,
watching the days go by
Cuz when it comes to Jolly Roger,
I'm the token gay guy
Snatch Wrapper:
I get pretty excited when there's a new guy at the hash
So when Carlos rolled up I got hard
Then he said his name was Snatch
and I was emotionally scarred.
E-mails from the Pack
A very hearty WELL DONE to the Thumper Humber and Dog F*cker for a well organized and executed f*ckup of a hash last night. :O)
You serenaded us in song, charmed us in poem, entertained us with trail, and thrashed us with some potent (but tasty) elixir . . . there will be hashers laying on the couch all day today because of you.
On-On to Christmas, not a peep was heard, not even a lice infected coyote with a lisp,
Haz
Thank-you to the Hares of the 12 down downs
Hashmas for a perfect flawless night of fun holiday Joy!!!! God
Bless us Everyone!!!
B&B
Trail Directions & Info
Theme:
Elelephant gift exchange, ugliest sweater contest, Hashmas song caroling and a 12 shot hash trail.Attire:
Dress up in your ugliest holiday sweater demonstrating your amazing taste in gaudy, hideous holiday attire and win an awesome prize! Other ridiculous holiday garb is highly encouraged!Gimme:
An awesome patch will be included for the first 55 people to RSVP that attend and there will be toe tags for everyone! The patches have already been received, so be sure to get yours when you pay your hash cash!
Gift Exchange: There will be
a white elephant gift exchange for those who bring something to exchange. All
gifts must be carried or worn on trail, so have fun with the items you pick to
bring! Feel free to bring extra gifts.
Vessels: This trail will include 12 shot
stops, but only the alcohol will be supplied, so bring your own shot vessel on
trail! The hares will pour the same amount in every vessel, so size actually
doesn’t matter in this instance.
When: Meet at 6:30 PM, gift exchange at 7
PM, on trail at 7:30 PMish.
Where: Meet in the parking lot next
Thumper's apartments, located at 940 Channelside Dr, Tampa, FL 33602,
Directions:
From I-275 and Dale Mabry, in Central Tampa, go north on I-275 for 2.4 miles to Exit 44. Merge onto Scott St for .7 miles. Go right on Nebraska Ave for .3 miles. Go left on Twiggs St for .3 miles. Go right on Channelside Dr for .3 miles and find the dirt parking lot on the right at Washington St and Channelside Dr. This is the guest parking lot for the apartment building next to the lot where one of our hashers lives. Ignore the signs there they say you will be towed. The sign is just there to scare non-guests off. The sign is just there to scare non-guests off. For a map, go to http://goo.gl/maps/uTFTu.Donations: $20
for drinkers and $8 for water only drinkers includes 12 shot stops (beer also
available), a personalized toe tag and an event patch.
Donations Formula: Awards & overhead $1 +
Water & Snack $2 + Toe Tag $1, Patch $4 =
$8 = (Non-Drinker).
+ Beer $4 + Shots $8 =
$20 =
(Drinker).
- $4
(No Beer) = $16,
or - $8 (No Shots) =
$12
Phone Number:
For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.
