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Hare, FRB, FBI & Brainless Award Winner (Basic Hash Trash)
Thumper Humper, F*ckle
Up and P-Thang were the hares. Yours truly, Dabadoo, collected hash cash and
drove the beer truck for the 2nd half of the trail, while Kitty Litter drove it
the first half. Inda Linda passed out toe tags, Suck My Strap On was the On Sec
and Ship Wrectum & F*ckle Up both ran the circles. All the hares wrote and
read poems about the attendees along trail where we did a progressive circle. We
did not award the FRB, FBI or Brainless Award due to this being a special
walking trail. However, trail was about 2 miles in length so exercise was had by
A night where Always the Bull consumes an entire bottle of Puerto Rican eggnog laced with Bacardi 151 BEFORE trail.
A night where Urine Trouble startes pre-lubing at 8 in the morning.
A night where Rhotan in a Grinch bathrobe drunkenly singing hash songs seems appropriate and right.
A night where Access All Areas decides to perch on the head of an 8 foot John F Kennedy statue.
A night where the fate of plastic f*ck sheep lies in the hands of hashers. (RIP Virgin Plastic F*ck Sheep)
A night where we pick up 2 young Asian male foreign exchange students and feed them jello shots.
A night where UT campus security chases us out because we've influenced their youth and because we put good use to their abandoned out door bar.
A night where S&M Ken and F*ckle Up wrestle-sex over a pair of antlers.
A night where P-Thag redefines the phrase "gay apparel" with the most glittery shoes I've ever seen in my life. (RIP Virgin Mr. Swallows)
A night where hashers slid four at a time to create the worlds first slowest drunkest longest slide ever.
A night where Swamp Nipples sprints across Curtis Hixon park and makes the maintenance guy turn back on the giant Christmas tree that he shut off on us.
A night where Rusty Pipes is too drunk to use technology.
A night where Cougar Whisperer randomly chooses my shoulder to pass out on at the on-after. I guess compared to his young age I am a cougar however the only thing he whispered was "No. No more water." and "Mmm Pizza."
A night where Fairy learns his lesson from last year, successfully gets drunk, then shoves his fudge in everyone's face. For some reason he carried an entire block of goats milk fudge with him throughout trail.
A night where the only reason Goo didn't win the ugly sweater contest is because she couldn't grow hers.
A night where the tequila shots at the end made the Dragons Breath seem soft and cuddly.
It was an amazing (I guess in hash speak Super Shitty) trail! All the shots and all the shot stops were fun and well thought out. Thanks to Thumper Humper, P-Thag, and F*chle for haring, to Ship for RA-ing, and to the multiple beer van drivers!
On-It's my favorite Christmas tradition.- On,
Thumper is a patch whore that we all
With a Happi she wore with no room for more.
P-Thag don’s his gay apparels
Even without singing christmas carols.
Dab has a bum knee that he doesn’t like
Now he gets lost twice as fast on his bike.
GRC is here, we’re so glad she could make it
Someone give her another shot so she gets naked.
Shitty’s a farmer but his ranch is almost a resort
He's got a cow and a cock but still a couple of chicks short
Rhotan flew in from America’s second city
Where you can flick the bean and the weather is shitty.
One of the weirdest sights you can ever see
Is Monkey in his red onesy.
Dive 55 came from DC for our Hashmas cheer
Let’s give her plenty of shots and plenty of beer.
Goo, if the Mayans are right then it sure is a pity
That we still haven’t seen your beautiful titty.
I hear that girls often beg
To have have this Puppy hump their leg.
P-Thag… I’m sorry Fairy… I don’t mean to hate.
I just can’t seem to keep my gays straight.
Appearently , Choice, we didn’t make it clear last year
That the 12 SHOTS of Hashmas wasn’t all beer
It’s not fair to enter a sweater contest
When Kitty can grow one on his chest
Access is back, and for those that are new
She’s fast like a bunny and probably fucks like one too
Strap on has a Hashmas gift for the guys
It’s wrapped with a little bow between her thighs
Sausage tied a mistletoe around his dick
So give his jingle balls a kiss and maybe a lick
Capt Hook hung his cock ring with care
With the hope that a harrierette would soon be there
Just Say Ahh, like Jack Frost, loves to nip
But it won’t be your nose on her lip
S&M Ken’s cool and doesn’t like to battle
But when he is bad he loves a good paddle.
Fluffer would do things different if she and Santa had to switch place
Instead of sitting on her lap to get presents, she sits on your face.
“Justs” are just hashers that haven’t done anything dumb
I’m sure something will, if they continue to come
Ship keeps telling me that today the world ends.
But I still don’t want to be “more then friends”
The Bull came back from Alaska in a whirl
But not before she fucked every Mormon girl.
The rest are late comers, procrastinators, or forgot
They get a shitty poem and a shitty shot.
Cougar Whisperer ‘s choice to run without a shirt
Makes the 40-plus women cry out and squirt
With a name like Whorenament, it stands to reason,
That she “puts out a cookie” EVERY holiday season
Dog Fucker can make bitches come at his whim,
But at Trash Prom a male boxer turned the tables on him.
The way she can drink, Urine Trouble’s liver should be admired,
But her rendition of Sweet Caroline leaves something to be desired.
A prancing Beer Angel, Swamp Nipples is spry!
And even through a sports bra, those things can put out your eye!
Big Foozy Balls earned his name, and if you ask him he’ll show.
But beware! When they’re flashed, even guys say “Whoa!”
Virgin Chad and Virgin Shawn swap sweat every week,
Holding each other close and rolling ‘round, cheek-to-cheek
F*ckle Up & Thumper Humper
More to follow from P-Thag...
Jolly Roger H3
Thumper Humper's 12 Down Downs For Hashmas Hash
Friday, December 21st, 2012
Theme: Ugly holiday sweater contest! Come celebrate JRH3's 2nd annual 12 Down-Downs of Hashmas and Thumper Humper's birthday with 12 shots on trail, Hashmas song caroling (songbook included), and demonstrating your amazing taste in gaudy, hideous holiday sweaters. An awesome patch will also be included for the first 30 people to RSVP that attend and there will be toe tags for everyone! In addition, there will be a Secret Santa gift exchange for those who bring something to exchange. All gifts must be carried or worn on trail. Feel free to bring extra gifts.
Where:Meet in the parking lot located at 202 S Hyde Park Ave, Tampa, FL 33606. Its in the southeast corner of S Hyde Park Ave and Grand Central Ave. Go to http://goo.gl/maps/U4tHs for a map. Parking is a little tricky. Parking in the lots is probably not a good idea because of the tow away signs. However, the parking on the street is free and safe. Should be plenty too. And don't worry about the "2 hour" parking signs, it's only 2 hours until like 5pm so we can park there as long as we want. For a map of FREE parking, click here.
When:Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM.
Thumper Humper, F*ckle Up, & Pythagorean Semen will be the hares.
Donations: Suggest $17 for drinkers $5 non-drinkers for all the beer you can drink (the beer van will be trailing the pack and stop at multiple shot stops for those that don't want hard alcohol), 12 different shots (and finishing off the leftovers), pizza at the on-after, a very cool patch (first 30 or so to RSVP), toe tag, prizes for ugliest sweater, the "thoughtful" gift from your Secret Santa (if you participate), a personalized poem mentioning everyone who RSVPs by 16 Dec, plus more fun and frivolity than you can shake a stick at.
Suggested Hash Hotel: Crowne Plaze Tampa Westshore, at 5303 W. Kennedy Blvd (4.5 mi away from start). Group price is $59/night. Register through Bed & Buckfest (813-766-7170 or email@example.com ). Transportation to and from start will be provided by the hotel for guests. Alternatively, there are closer hotels within walking distance of the on-after, but without a group rate (University Inn 0.3 mi, Sheraton Tampa Riverwalk.4 mi, Hyatt Regency Tampa .4 mi).
RSVP: To get on the "Who's Coming List", send an email to Thumper Humper at
Who's Coming So Far: Click hereto see who's coming so far.
- Secret Santa Gift Exchange: ASAP (firstname.lastname@example.org). Everyone that wishes to participate in order to not be the "hasher that didn't participate and has to just watch (which is never as fun)" must bring a gift to be exchanged. At the beginning of trail, we will draw numbers and pick in that order from the gifts. After you pick, if you don't like your gift you can exchange it with a gift from someone that has picked before you (i.e. screw another hasher and steal their gift). Keep keep the limit around $6.90. You can go over, but that's your call. The hasher that receives your gift will HAVE TO CARRY IT ON TRAIL for the entire trail.
Attire: Dress up in
your ugliest holiday sweater (yes, Kitty Litter, personally-grown sweaters
count…if they are decorated) and win an awesome prize! Other ridiculous holiday
garb is highly encouraged! Expect to walk the vast majority of trail with hares
Vessels: This trail will include 12 shot stops, but only the alcohol will be supplied, so bring your own shot vessel on trail! The hares will pour the same amount in every vessel, so size actually doesn’t matter in this instance.
Shiggy Level: 1 on a 1-5 scale
Printable Copy:Click here for a black & white printable copy of this info (coming soon).