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Hare Blessings
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Now us yokels don’t have many smarts,
But yea folks ain’t from around des parts.

Des hares look awful purdy,
And trail, like my mind, is dirty.

So drop dem overalls to da ground,
Then listen to da banjo’s sound.

There’s a hoe down behind my big rig,
And its gunna make ya squeal like a pig.

Repeat after me:

Bless these hares.
Bless this trail.
Moonshine-us no blind-us.
Obama-us no tax-us.
And Read-us no books-us.

In the name of the flour
The fun
And the holy run

On-Out!

F*ckle Up

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Hash Trash(es)
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Rectal Room Mate & Tea Bag By Hitler were the hares, Diaper Dasher was the FRB, Access All Areas was the FBI and Goes Down Easy won the Brainless Award.

Dab

The devil went down to Riverview. He was looking for a soul to steal. He was in a bind and he was way behind because it turned out Fuckle's soul wasn't real. When he came across these young men scouting through shiggy and eyes bloodshot. And the devil jumped up on the palmetto stump and said boys let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know but I'm a hasher through and through, and if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.

Now you've laid some pretty good trails boys but give the devil his due. I'll bet a keg of gold against your soul 'cause I'm a better hasher than you.

One of of them said "My name is Rectal and it might be a sin, but I'll take that bet you're gonna regret cause I'm the best hare that's ever been."

"Rectal go and grab your flour and mark the trail real good,
Cause hells broke loose in Riverview, We're taking it to the woods."

"And if you win you get this shiny keg that's made of gold,
But if you lose well there then the devil gets your soul."

The devil opened up his flour bag and said "I'll go and start this trail!"
And marks flew from his finger tips as he drew package checks for males.

On trail he ran into Urine Trouble and of course she needed to piss,
And as she pissed demons appeared to co-hare and the trail went something like this: (Just imagine an like an "ok" trail. Like I don't know a 7 out of 10.)

When the devil finished Rectal said "Well you're pretty good old son but sit down in that circle right there and let me show you how it's done."

Liquor just fell,
Run hashers run,
Inda gave birth to all 4 sons,
Turkeys in the field liking Semoer Bi's tits,
Pen dressed up like a crossdressing hick,
P-Thag angered neighbors and the peacocks in the zoo,
Mouthful of Busch was smoking for 2,
Hot blondes with their thongs and and their hot tramp stamps,
3 hashers hurt their knees but they took it like a champ.

The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. He parked that golden beer keg next to T Bagged by Hitler and Rectals feet,
Rectal then said " Devil you come on back if you want to hare again,

Cause I told you once you son of a Bitch I'm the best hare that's ever been!"

On-On,
Inda Linda

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Trail #772
Rectal's Riverview Redneck Trail
Saturday, April 7th, 2012

Theme: Come dressed like a red neck, Nascar shirts, bib overalls, missing teeth, etc. Just GIT-ER-DONE and come on out!

Why: Reasons you MIGHT be a redneck & need to come to Rectal’s Riverview Redneck Trail.

Where: Meet behind the Suntrust Bank, located at 11721 Boyette Rd, in Riverview, FL. Click here for a map.

When: Meet at 5 PM, on trail at 6 PM.

Directions: From I-4 & I-275, in central Tampa, go west on I-4 for 7.5 miles to Exit 9. Go south on I-75 for 10.8 miles to Exit 250. Go left, or west on Gibsonton Dr/Boyette Rd for 3.1 miles and find the Suntrust Bank on the right, just prior to McMullen Booth Rd. Click here for a map.

Trail: This will be a 3-4 mile, dead redneck trail with a shiggy level of 3+ on a 1-5 scale with 5 being the toughest. This is not at stroller, or dog friendly trail and work arounds will not be feasible. Suggest you wear shiggy socks and bring bug spray.

Hares: Rectal Room Mate & Tea Bag By Hitler will be the ~~rednecks~~ hares.

Donations: Suggest $6 for drinkers and $3 for non-drinkers.

Redneck Raffle: Yes, there will be a raffle! Bring your stuff to donate. One redneck's trash is another rednecks's treasure.

On After: The on after will be at the Beer Shed, located at 11222 Casa Loma Dr, in Riverview, FL where they will have food, karaoke, and of course, cheep beer. BRING CASH! They don't take credit cards, but they do have and ATM, for a charge. This is an awesome redneck bar, with outside seating right on the Alafia River. You definitely will want to attend this on after. To get there from the staring location, go left on McMullen Booth Rd for .8 miles, left on McMullen Booth Loop Rd for .8 miles, right on Casa Loma Dr for .1 miles and find the Beer Shed on the right. Click here for a map.

Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call 813-943-4855.

Receding Hareline: Click here to view it.