Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #590
Tu(be) Tu(be) Hash
Sunday, August 22nd, 2010
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Hare Blessing

GRC and Just Davidgot us here for sun and fun
You know those sneaky hares will make us run

With sand in our crotch and tubes around our waist
There better be beer between my lips to taste

Trail promises to be muggy and hot
Conditions are right for a sweaty t...t

Repeat after me:

Bless these hares
Bless this trail
Beach cops no hault us
Sand spurs no slow us
Tu-tu Tubes no pop us
Sandy orifices no chap us!

In the name of the flour, the fun and the holy run!


Hash Trash

GRC & JustDavid were the hares, Dickfibrillator was the FRB and CasualFriday won the Brainless Award


Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
...written on the Statue of Liberty.

Give me your parking garage and your keys.
Your waddling masses can march in your flip flops to start the trail a half mile away.
The wretched bum-urine beginning of trail.
Send these hashers over a big bridge where jumpers fly to their death…SPLAT!

…written by GRC

Truthfully, though….the Motto was “Get over it” and we did….and there was much rejoicing and then some numb-nut jumped to his peril off the bridge (seriously)…we didn’t see it but the fire dept and search and rescue crew watched for the suicidal herione-addict surfer-beach-bum turned piece of drift wood.

GRC took Just David under her wings and showed him how to lay it good. Sporting totally tubular beach cozies and play toys the JRH3 took to the pristeen beaches of clearwater where we were hounded by up tight yuppies, who likely only do it missionary.

“YOU”RE ON PRIVATE PROPERTY” one pleaded. “It’s ok”, said a large man in a pink tutu “Our Friends live here”. (OK I got me).

With a complete lack of concern for this hoity toity and her t-shirt tucked into his underwear poindexter of a man we pushed on….The rescue team was looking for the jumper as we climbed Mt Everest…I mean a steep bridge…they wanted to know whats up with the tu-tus and blow up toys. Trutfully we wanted to know about the floating guy…anyways…..DickFibulatr pushed forwards the coveted FRB Chain. But along the way….a Trail treasure was found and a pretty yellow chain (much lighter than the FRB Chain) was designated for the FBI….Casual Friday. Casual always won the brainless….for the life of me I don’t remember why, but I don’t think there was a lot of competition for the award.

We wanted to name Just David, but the tow-truck-jerk-off guy interrupted circle (HOW RUDE!) to tell us that he was telling on us…and was going to tow the remaining vehicles. We shut down….did Swing Low in .69 seconds and scattered like scalded rats… TuTu #1 of the trifecta was completed. Beer Angels Rash 4 Days and MathSucksLetF*ck kept us happy and there was a lot of fun in circle...until we had to close. Dab and Battered Woman drove so the rest of us could get our Tube Tube steaks out on the course.

Thanks GRC and Just Dave for giving us a thrilling day!


Holy Eiffel Tower! Another great hash with fun in the sun! Thank you GRC and JustDavid (virgin hare) for all your efforts in offering up a fun trail in Clearwater Beach! We all had a lot of fun and were happy there were Rescue vehicles at every corner of trail for us; someone from the condos must have dialed 9-1-1 after seeing TaintTickler attempting calisthenics in the parking lot. Thanks GRC for giving me a hint so I could catch up with you guys after I got it on with the AAA dude with the condo residents watching out their windows. After consuming a beverage and taking a cranium count at the beer stop, we were all off on trail again with our tubes. I thought about taking the short-cut to the other side of the water, but knowing me, I’d run into the body that took the short-cut off the bridge earlier.

Circle was fun, thank you HotQuarterLoad for pushing through it in double-time, thank you DickFibrilator for the use of your water wings and for keeping our cups overflowing in Circle. I escaped a brainless nomination for losing one of my water wings, as I generously donated it to the cause of keeping hash communication open (wrapped the phone); but was busted for doing the AAA guy on my car when I should have been on trail. I must say some gross sh*t was put into the skull this time around--just my luck. It was a race for the chain and DickFib beat out WheresMyGoat for his very first chance to wear the chain this Thursday night.

Most of all, thanks to all wanks who took time out of their busy Sunday to join in the fun and festivities at the JRH3 Sunday Adventure Hash in Clearwater. You guys rock!

Casual Friday

Trail Directions & Info

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #590
Tu(be) Tu(be) Adventure Hash
Sunday, August 22nd, 2010

What: Jolly Roger H3 tradition is to wear TU-TU's on trail whenever a hash falls on the 22nd day of the month.  Since this TU-TU hash is on the beach, this will be a TU(BE)-TU(BE) hash so, wear a swim tube as your TU-TU. Suggest you get a swim tube at Toy-R-Us or at one of the many shops along the beach.

When: Meet at 12:00 noon, on trail at 1:00 PMish.

Where: Valet park, for $5, at Shephard's Beach Resort, located at 601 S Gulfview Blvd, Clearwater Beach, FL and walk .3 miles down the street to the south to the Five Five One Restaurant & Beach Bar parking lot (closed) where the hash will start. Click here for a map. DO NOT PARK IN THIS LOT as you will get towed. (It appears you may park on the street in front of the restaurant and bar for free, but this is not confirmed. We just didn't see any signs indicating you would be towed, so do so at your own risk.) There will be trail-like directional arrows from Shephard's to the start to assist you in getting there.

Directions: Click here for a map.

Hares: GRC and JustDavid will be the hares.

On After: The on after will be at Shephard's Tiki Bar where there will be a live band. There's a $3 cover charge at the door, but there will be $1 well drinks and 14 oz draft beers and $3 calls.  Boaters text "Anchor" to 24453 and get free cover. Eat at their buffet and get free valet parking. To get there from the starting location, go north on Gulfview Blvd for .3 miles and find Shephard's on the left.

Remarks: This will the first of three TU-TU hashes, occurring three in a row;  August, September and October. Collect and save all three toe tags and get a special commemorative gimmie for hitting the TU-TU TRIFECTA!

Toe Tags: Send an RSVP to to get a PERSONALIZED event toe tag.

Who's Coming So Far: Click here to see who's coming so far.

Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.

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