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GRC & MetroNoSexual were the hares. FuckleUp was the FRB and Taint won the Brainless Award.

Thank you to the hashers who braved the elements (earth, wind and fire - all in one day) to witness the cherry popping of our most recent virgin hare, MetroNoSexual - You did great Metro!!
I for one had a blast. I especially appreciated the blessed cooling rain and the ethereal sounds and resulting gyrations of the sunset drum circle. Or maybe I was a little buzzed. Oh and Taint; WTF? Where did you go? We paid a pair of beautiful blonde Russian twins (body builders, even) to hold your wet burrito between their cheeks for your dining pleasure and you f-n left??? Fortunately it worked out. They had a thing for Allison and Accidental Anal. Dab said they were probably a little too old for you. But anyway, Boris and Pyotr send their best and hope you come back soon. They love Harleys and the men who love them.

GRC

As I type the account from yesterday's trail my parched, dry cracked throat searches for relief from the sun-worshipping that consumed a good part of the day. GRC mentored MetroNoSexual on what proved to be a challenging, fun and scenic trail. For those of you who weren't able Invade Treasure Island, I'd like to offer a synopsis to fill you in. It was so hot that small children were bursting into flame s...Not KAZ...he pushed through like a champion and kept MoreSex and WheresMyGoat? hopping. He was offered cold water by many in the Kennel, but pushed away in an act of defiance....conclusion...he wanted a mouthful of boobie (Who doesn't?). Racing Stripes was thought to be lost on trail, but as it turns out he was conducting a recce of a bikini contest. I guess we are the morons for not following him! So there it was...we were hashing on the sun's surface...it was so hot that beer boiled the minute it left the ice cold kegs and flowed into our vessels. The only way to survive was to wrap your lips around the tap....speaking of wrapping your lips around something....Just Russ and F*ckThatFence opened their mouths and closed their eyes...as they got a big surprise....a JRH3 Whistle! Horray for Blow Jobs! So back to the trail....the zig-zagging through Treasure Island had us look like a flock of wounded pelicans trying to flap our wings in a straight line.....we zigged...we zagged...we checked back all over the place. Runners got their work out and the walkers just laughed as they had to pick up the pace or have their flip-flops melt into the asphalt.

Finally....trail took us to the beach....scantily dressed beach goers caused the pack to drift from the AWESOME ORANGE plops on the sand, but eventually the rendez-vous with the floating shot stop offered a great opportunity to be cooled off. Goo-Light Special and Just Allison jousted in a chicken fight as everyone watching hoped for the shirts to get torn off...no such luck. ShipWrectum finally learned that he needs to give Math some loving so as he tried you could see F*ckleup in the background watching like a jealous dog observing humans eat a tasty steak (seriously...check out the pictures...he looks PISSED). Bromance Denied! Always the Bull was the only one with an inflatable pool toy, but everyone enjoyed the shots. I can't remember the names...but I think it was "HotSexOnYourFace" and "Dirty Redhead"....if I got that right, then the remaining brain cells sobered up and fought back to recall that info.

Dead trails and hash halts are frequently used to ensure accountability of the pack. Taint tickler used it as chance to race ahead of the runners who weren't huffing and puffing and attempt to steal the FRB chain. Generally speaking....a douche-bag who wants the chain should be forced to wear it....in this case his lack of concern for fellow hashers that were turning into beef jerky as they were toasted by the hot sun earned him the Brainless and not the FRB.

Pictures next to the Captain Morganesque Pirate had to wait until an inbred family figured out which sister-ma and uncle-pa-brother would snap the pictures. When they finally figured "it don't matter "were all kin" we were able to get some pictures of the sun-burnt pack. The tightly drawn circle was accelerated due the Wrath of God Death storm that came in on the heals of the super hot day. The pack ducked in for some awesome chow, but had to deal with some uber-bitchy waitresses. As the Taco-Nazis snapped at the group, Shitz Ahoy made some friends with the locals and there was much giggling as the pre-pared lunch boxes were announced "Who's Accidental Anal?"...."I've got a wet burrito for IBe Smart..." ..."Can some one point out who "Taste My Rainbow is...I've got some hot Mexican food for her"...nonetheless the food was awesome....then it was off to the Steel drum sunset hang out. Dab re-positioned the beer truck so the wankers could stay lubed and we watched the banging drums....dancing and sunset. Good place to bring a date....F#ckle ups jealousy didn't have to have any more salt poured into the wound because he was busy having a locksmith help him jimmy his door. The Distraction gave Ship and Math some alone time....FINALLY.

The End

Hot Quarter Load

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #581
Treasure Island Pirate Invasion
Adventure Hash & Sunset Drum Circle
Sunday, July 25th, 2010

Remarks: Don't forget to bring your beach chairs to sit on the beach!

RSVP: Please let us know if your plan to attend. Send an email to dab@jollyrogerh3.com to RSVP. Let us know the following;

1. Hash Name, or nerd name if none (Name)

2. Trail (Yes or No)

3. On After on the beach (Yes or No)

4. Food (Food order at http://www.viplounge-fla.com/id2.html

5. Remarks (Anything you want posted on the Who's Coming List)

Note: Even if you do not RSVP you are still welcome to attend. You probably just won't get a toe tag.

Who's Coming So Far: Click here to see who says they're coming so far.