|
|
Jolly Roger
H3 |
|
|
|
Jolly Roger
H3 |
|
Click
here
to view Dab & SaigonSally's pics.
Jolly Roger H3 500th
Hash Trash
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Hares: Dabadoo & Plasterbaiter
The 500th running of the Jolly Roger H3 was a huge success! Wanks from near
and far circled up for the past and present RA tag-team show! Dabadoo (GM)
opened the circle, calling in Casual Friday, Ben Gay, Caught From Behind,
Goolight Special, Lost My Balls and Kitty Litter for a mismanagement
down-down. Five first-timers dared to cum out and play and were introduced
by Ben Gay. The dead hares showed themselves for their blessing from Lost My
Balls and totally confused the circle of 169 wankers with their questionable
chalk talk. All I understood was, we were expected to run into a
Herpes/Syphilis split, and the rest of chalk talk was anyone’s guess.
Goolight Special introduced the past FRB; who happened to be our favorite
trail ranger and cop-magnet, Lost My Balls. More Sex took over circle to
lead the pack in an awesome round of hash aerobics; her forte is our
favorite part of circle!
ON-OUT!
The pack was let loose and scattered like June bugs caught in a beam of
light. I opted for the unsafe sex whichy-way (syphilis trail) with the
strollers and other gimps, hoping the tots would let me squeeze in the
stroller with them for a nice ride through a ritzy neighborhood. Apparently
all six of us looked like a band of hoodlums (I blame They Float as she
continually tripped security lights with her need to pee on trail), and were
stopped by an HOA Nazi. She was about 1,069 years old and wanted to know
exactly what we were doing and what was at the end of the trail. Just Matt
suggested she show us her ancient tits which seemed to piss her off more
than necessary, but she was pacified with Ben Gay’s impromptu package check
and released us from bondage. We ran into a mud-covered Balls ranging with
the FRB chain and acting quite suspicious; but we’ll get to that later. Our
legs were just 69 seconds from giving out when the beer check was FINALLY
found, thanks to Plasterbaiter who pointed us in the right direction.
After sucking down cold wet ones, the pack was on-out once again. Within the
first 10 yards, we were challenged with an 869 foot tall wall to climb; some
of us more challenged than others. Infants and strollers were thrown over
the wall like missiles and gimps were hoisted up like the ragdolls that we
were. Turning back for another 2,069 miles in the dark without a flashlight
was not an option as the HOA Nazi on night patrol would surely kick our
asses again. After walking in endless circles, our little group of wanking
misfits couldn’t figure out if we were FRBs or DFLs until Finish was reached
as Dab told us the turkey (syphilis) trail was the longest. Gee—no shit? If
I had two good arms, I would have choked him right then.
CIRCLE UP!
As usual, Lost My Balls was missing but we weren’t too worried right away.
Gay Rodeo Clown mentioned all runners took the short trail as the walkers
took the death march and the pack collectively blamed Dabadoo and his
drunken chalk talk for the trail cluster-f. Wankers rallied around the
circle and the RA tag-team began. I brought out the hares for their beating;
as if they needed to drink more! The first-timers were brought out by CFB to
entertain the troops and they failed to make us laugh with their jokes; the
silly virgins should have paid attention to the suggestions from the pack.
Three two-timers were brought out to search for their new whistles and
multiple cummers were honored. Nauti was tied off for her 50th hash, Wanna Earn
An A was tied-up for obtaining her 100th hash, and Head Plant Vagina was
tied up for doing 25 JRH3 trails.
It was time for the FRB award, and since hash ranger Balls was still on
trail, we had to reach for the 68-pound back-up FRB chain for Saigon Sally.
Kitty Litter brought in Taint Tickler to cleanse the skull which was offered
for brainless nominations, but not before Choice of a New Penetration
t-bagged the skull beneath his kilt. It was only fitting that Choice was
given the brainless award and enjoyed the taste of his own fromunda
cheesybitz. Last but not least, we had a very special DFL wank for the 500th
JRH3 hash; Lost My Balls finally made it to finish! He said he was picked up
by Hillsborough County Deputies because he fit the description of a
suspicious-looking man wearing a chain, peeking into houses and car windows.
He was chauffeured to the police station for a 69-minute fudge-packing
session and released. Since he wouldn’t give the deputies his phone number,
they made him run all the way back to the scene of the pickup with nothing
but his 1,069 pound orange chain.
On that note, Dabadoo staggered into circle and closed with the traditional
“Swing Low” and the hash got a piece for the 500th time!
On-On!
Casual Friday
.
Jolly Roger
H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
500th Run
Saturday, October 10th, 2009
Where: Meet at the Green Parrot Pub, located at 11759 N Dale Mabry, in Tampa, Florida
When:
Direction:
Go north on Dale Mabry for about 8 miles and find the Green Parrot on the right between Linebaugh and Fletcher.
From I-275 & Dale Mabry, in Central Tampa:
From Ocala, to the north:
From St. Pete, to the south:
From Orlando, to the east:
From Clearwater, to the west:
Theme:
Trail:
Hares:
Donation:
On After:
T-Shirts:
RSVP:
Who's Coming So Far:
Phone Number:
