Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #496
Bestiality Hash
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

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Hare Blessings

Our hash has so many hot bitches
But GRC and on-on’s trail has glitches
and the pack’s hard to please
I hear on-on has fleas
That explains why GRC’s _____ itches


Bless these hares
Bless this trail
Coppus no catch us
Rainus no soak us
Fleas no bite us

In the name of
The Flour
The FunAnd The Holy Run



Hash Trash

Jolly Roger H3 Hash Trash
Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2009
Hares: GRC and On-On

Beastiality’s best, especially at the Davis Island Yacht Club! Four-legged wankers led their two-legged masters to the beer van as if they were at home getting a PBR out of the fridge for their owner during a football game. Now if we could only get the dogs to pick up their own poo! We had three virgins and two of them brought dogs as it was a good night to sniff butts and get free dog treats for all wanks. GRC and On-On versed the pack on what signs to expect on trail, which included ladies’ checks and package checks. We found out down the road that was an evil hare fib.


Trail took us along what seemed to be a very busy little league baseball tournament. A man on the inside of the fence with a big smile and a wave, called “On-On!” as we ran by. You know he was jealous, wanting to run with the pack but instead was forced to watch pitiful Junior strike himself out. I ran with On-On who loves to show off when told “On-On runs fast!” Leave it to Rectal Roommate to call that out when I was slowing down due to dehydration, and sure enough, On-On kicked it into high gear and yanked me across the street, chasing Rectal. All kinds of check backs were found, it was apparent that GRC was using her infamous pinwheel haring pattern again. I was hoping On-On would show us harriettes where the package checks were, but he let us all down. Portopussy and GatorAte were running all over the place as there were no ladies’ checks to be had, either.

The darker it grew, the larger the homes got and the less we used our whistles for fear of disturbing the “have” residents. Runners made it to the beer check 69 hours ahead of the turkeys, as the walkers were following bird droppings to Peter O. Knight airport. GRC got them back on track and to the beer van with a phone call, and Mom pushed us all back on trail so we could circle up before breakfast time.


GRC and On-On got 10 paws up, and a half-dozen thumbs down during trail trial. Seems there were some important trail signs missing, and the fake powder in the form of bird poop wasn’t appreciated, either. Something tells me we could have used more flashlights on trail! Taint Tickler placed the FRB chain on Porto’s neck for winning the hash; Porto suddenly went from 40 pounds soaking wet, to 109 (40 + 69) pounds; not that it will slow him down on his next hash run. Taint cleansed the brainless award; I know he dreams about this every week, as he seems to enjoy it so much. Much to our surprise, he did not win the skull this week! Hums Anything was awarded the coveted skull because she’s been gone for 169 years. She’s such a good sport, she downed half of the contents and washed her hair with the other half. The Jolly Roger H3 new Song Meister, Taint Tickler, handed out verses to the infamous song, “Beastiality’s Best” and we all got to sing along. I’m still not certain what I need to do when I see a worm or a buffalo; I’ll have to keep Taint’s phone number on speed dial just in case.

Swing Low was sung, butts were sniffed again, and the hash went in peace.


Casual Friday

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #496
Davis Island Bestiality Hash

Leash the Beasts and Bring them Along!
day, September 23rd, 2009

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