Wednesday, Sept. 2, 2009
JRH3 #491
Hare: GatorAteMyPenis

The pack gathered on the far east side of town (easy-enough to be confused with the Far East) not knowing there would be three trails for the JRH3 hash #491. The planned trail (#1) was laid by GatorAte My Penis, an uncharted trail foraged by Dabadoo was the second trail, and a cluster-f-ed trail ranged by Portopussy and Donny The Retard was the third and longest trail. The clouds were threatening but that did not stop a good turnout in BFE. Chalk talk was given which included flour, chalk, toilet paper and surveyor’s tape; and the hare was kicked out of circle. 6 virgins introduced themselves to the pack and the rain subsided, just in time for on-out!

ON-OUT!

A mixture of sidewalk, parking lots and fantastic shiggy was involved in Gator’s trail. True trail took us through dark swamps and the Secret Club of the Whining Princesses emerged; no need to name any names, right Snapper and Wanna? Tie Me Down Dick and Puppy took turns holding branches and hands of the princesses through the swamp, which was in peak sucking-mode as I almost lost my running shoes 6,900 times. Most of all the runners made it to the beer stop in an apartment complex and it wasn’t long before we found out we had hash fans on the third floor. While the upper deck audience whistled, we lined up and gave them a mass mooning photo opportunity, and they took it. The walkers had not shown up and it was just starting to get dark as we head out of the complex in search for trail without the use of any flashlights or disco-lighted mugs. The pack split up, as what normally happens when trail markings cannot be found and the surveyor’s tape marking trail was mixed up with official surveyor’s tape marking dead trees. I found myself running with Taint Tickler while Tie Me Down’s virgin and I were listening to Taint’s hashing stories from 690 BC. Apparently, blowjobs were cheaper back then. We eventually spotted some wankers flailing about in the middle of a shiggyfest 169 miles off course, doing their best not to get electrocuted by high voltage wires and digging trenches beneath barbed wire with their bare hands for safe passage. After yelling “RU?” without any response and seeing them hop back and forth over the same fence 1,069 times, I assumed they were more lost than we were at that time. I learned later on that they were the pack of walkers lead by Dab, doing their best to avoid shiggy.


While all wankers packed chalk, only few of us dared to lay pack markings on trail. This was the saving grace for Portopussy and Donny, as they ranged a cluster-f-ed trail from hell while trying to find trail markings without a flashlight. After running 169 miles in circles and zigzag patterns due to endless count-backs and not bothering to count-back the flour (it wasn’t Puppy’s fault this time), they spied a pack marking and took it in to the finish.

CIRCLE

It seemed to be a night of sweeping, as the hare jumped in a car to sweep for walkers (trail #2), and the beer van had to be called back to the finish. Apparently, Purple Penis Eater (beer van driver) was waiting for the walkers who never showed as Dab’s “shiggyless” trail did not include a beer stop. Porto and Donny showed up just in time, as we were 69 seconds away from sweeping for them (trail #3). Gator did not have much to say for himself except that he warned us all about the intense sludge we would be wiping off of our bodies with cases of baby wipes; as the knit shiggy socks were no guard against the slimy black crap from hell! The pack was entertained by the virgins which included a song that put us all to sleep, and cost me 1,069 hours of my life that I will never get back. Just Matt received his belated blowjob from the lovely Wanna Earn An A (seemingly the Carol Merrill of BJs) while Semper Bi did her best to shoot orange balls out of the crack of her ass with a loud bang while texting her grandma. I am here to write that it is not a JRH3 circle until someone’s feet are pointing up to the heavens! Rectal Roommate was tied-up for 50 runs and we proceeded to play Marco-Polo. Lost My Balls gave it to himself with the chain wrapped around his neck; his ranging proved to “win” him nerd status once again. As usual, many accusations were put out there, and Tie Me Down Dick received the brainless award for leaving his virgin with Taint Ticker, and gave himself an impressive beer shampoo.


Once again, Swing Lo was sung and we all got a piece!
On-On!

Casual Friday

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #491
Wednesday, Septempber 2nd, 2009
 

• Where: Meet behind the Ethan Allen store locates at 10015 Adamo Dr, in Tampa, Florida. Its just west of I-75.
   

• When: Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM sharp!


 

• Direction: Click here for a map.
   

  • From I-275 & I-4, in Central Tampa: Go west on I-4 for 3 miles, right, or south on Columbus/50th Street, at Exit 3 for .9 miles, left on Adamo Dr/SR-60 for .3.9 miles and find the Ethan Allen Store on the right.

  
   

  • From Wesley Chapel, to the north: Go south on I-75, from Hwy 54 for 21.5 miles, right on Adamo Dr/SR-60, at Exit 265 for .5 miles and find the Ethan Allen Store on the left.

  
   

  • From I-75 an I-275 to the south: Go north on I-75, from I-275 for 27.7 miles, left on Adamo Dr/SR-60, at Exit 265 for .9 miles and find the Ethan Allen Store on the left.
    

   

  • From Brandon, to the east: Go west on Brandon Blvd/SR-60 and find the Ethan Allen Store on the left about .5 miles past I-75.

  
   

  • From MacDill AFB/South Tampa, to the west: Go north on Dale Mabry for 2 miles, right, or east on the Crosstown Expressway for 10.6 miles, north on 78th Street, at Exit 21 for .5 miles, right, or east on Adamo Rd/SR-60 for 1.9 miles and find the Ethan Allen Store on the right.

• Trail: Shiggy will be a 5 on a scale of 0-6.9; wear your Gator-style shiggy socks.  It's getting to be that time of year where you will need a flashlight for trail.  As Casual would say, best to leave junior and Fido at home.
   

• Remarks: Gator went to your crappy trail where you live, you can come tohis!  This is actually really quick to get to as it is less than five minutes from the I-75 and I-4 intersection.


 

• Hare: GatorAteMyPenis will be the hare.
  

• Donation: $6 donation.
   

• On After: The on after will be at Cherry's Bar and Grill 10033 E Adamo Drive, back near the start in the same strip mall.
  

 

• Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.