Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Jolly Roger Hash #489
Hares: Rectal Roommate and Puppy

Wanks showed up despite the huge monsoon and we all hoped Lost My Balls would bring his blow up raft as the parking lot at the start location had turned into a detention lake, swallowing all wankers not wearing a floatation device. The chalk talk was executed live, yet the trail signs disappeared as fast as Puppy could lay them down. The umbrella-laden pack knew trail would be challenging, so everyone stripped down to Speedos and swim goggles.

ON-OUT!

The runners went off into the night searching for signs of anything looking like pasty-blobs on the sidewalk. Dead Man Cumming and his tiny chicken nugget-eating harriette in a stoller led the walkers through sidewalk rivers and ponds, eventually merging with the runners wandering around with eyes as big as saucers. Funny how their priority was finding trail markings while the walkers’ priority was finding BEER. The beer van had been parked in a near-dry parking lot for the FRBs, and changed location for the turkey wanks. Walkers crossed the road and attached flippers to their feet to power through Lake Manhattan in order to reach the beer van for a beverage check in what used to be a parking lot. The FRBs had disappeared and after getting their temporary fill of beer, the walkers swam back to start/finish.

CIRCLE UP!

A soaked motley crew circled up; wankers brought forth their orange items to send to Whiney Bitch in Afghanistan as he was asking for something from the orange food group. GatorAte showed off his skimpy little orange Halloween underpants for the 69th time; they were nice and sweaty from his run in the rain. Rash for Dayz showed off her lacey orange underpants as well; I’m not certain who got more stares, but I know who got more laughs. Rectal being the good sport that he is, filled his granny panties that he wore while haring, with cheesy poofs and smashed them into the crotch for Whiney. Trail trial proved to be predictable with “not enough lakes and rivers” being complained about, and “not enough orange panties on trail” was noted. Yeast Infection made a fine Beer Angel and kept us from complaining about not enough beer in circle. Since we entertained the virgin with our sink or swim hash, he entertained us with his belly and a joke. Just Glen got himself a blow job with Wanna Earn An A’s help, and I’m A Dick was tied up for 25 hashes. Rash 4 Dayz and Math Sucks were tied for 10 runs. Lost My Balls received the 169 pound FRB chain as well as the Brainless award for packing 4 drunk wankers on a 2-man blow up raft without any life jackets on a river filled with alligators. Rash 4 Dayz helped drain the skull as she was smoking on the thin plastic raft adding to the ridiculousness of it all. Normally the Jolly Roger H3 does not dig up old brainless incidents, but the SS Balls crew ditched circle at the last hash so they could avoid chugging out of the brainless award. Our fearless leader Dabadoo was not going to let them get away with it!

Swing low was sung and GatorAte showed us his little toddler ass once again, and the hash got a piece.

On-On!
Casual Friday

 

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #489
Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
 

• Where: Meet in the overflow parking lot just north of the Green Iguana, located at 4029 S Westshore Blvd, in South Tampa, Florida.

• When: Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM sharp!

• Directions: Click here for a map.

  • From I-275 & I-4, in Central Tampa: Go south on I-275 for 4.3 miles, south on Westshore for 3.3 miles, at Exit 40A and find the Green Iguana on the right.

  • From I-275 & Gandy, in St. Pete: Go west on Gandy for 8.6 miles across Tampa Bay, left on Westshore for .8 miles and find the Green Iguana on the left.

• Trail: Trail will have a shiggy scale of 0.05. It will be dog and stroller friendly.

• Theme: Bring something orange for Whiney Bitch, who is deployed with the Army overseas. He wrote us and said he missed the orange food group. So, we're going to send him some orange stuff in a care package. GRC is sending a barrel of Cheezy Puffs. So we have that covered. Whatever you bring should probably not be something that will spoil in the mail. We will be collecting your orange stuff and sending it to Whiney in a separate package.

• Hares: Puppy & RectalRoomMate will be the hares.

• Donation: $6 donation.

• On After: The on after will be at the Green Iguana, back at the start. Men are not allowed into the Green Iguana wearing tank tops. So, make sure you bring a T along for the on after.

• Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.

• Receding Hareline: