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Hare Blessings
.
Today is DMC’s birthday trail.
Breun and Lost are here to help him fail.
He’s been hitting the gym,
Don’t worry we’ll catch him.
Just like Rectal’s girl, by the tail
REPEAT AFTER ME:
Bless these hares
Bless this trail
Rainus no soak us
Coppus no catch us
Heatus no stroke us
In the name of
The Flour
The Fun
And The Holy Run
ON OUT!
GatorAte
Hash Trash
JRH3 Hash
#482 Hash Trash
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Hares: Dead Man Cumming, Lost My Balls and Just Breun
Wanks big and small, 2-legged and 4-legged gathered for the DMC Birthday
Hash in the middle of swampville, otherwise known as Westchase Commons. The
pack was greeted by an alien at the entrance; however, the sight of
strollers must have lowered his level of interest in our meeting of
half-minds. Gatorate My Penis blessed the hares, virgins were introduced,
shiggy socks were pulled up, and stroller mud flaps were tightened, prior to
on out.
ON-OUT: A pink tape and flour trail took us through muddy utility easements
and around retention ponds; and if you ran with Gatorate, trail also took
you through a ballgame between a father and his daughters. Woops! If you ran
with the female FRBs, you made good time to the beer stop, as the harriettes
passed good judgment on a DP and the harriers passed gas and a lot of wasted
time. A couple auto-hashers hooked up with the beer van (you know who you
are Fat Bastard and Phuk Pocket), and thought they had escaped all the mud
and water on trail. More squishy grass and trees were thrown into the second
half of trail, all to be outdone by the climbing of Mt. Shiggy in order to
get to the finish. While a good handful of wankers were climbing, sliding,
laughing and cursing, princess wankers walked around it. Tackling the hill
was the shortest way to the beer stop, only if you could make it up the 169
degree incline just to slosh through water waiting for you on the down side.
CIRCLE UP: Wanks made it in as the sun was setting; cold beer never tasted
so good, dry shoes never felt so comfortable, and home baked goods never
went down the gullet so fast! The pack was entertained by 69 first-timers,
and Just Dawn and Just Breun received their blowjobs. Lost My Balls had his
ankle chewed on for 69 minutes as we all ate boob cupcakes, pointed and
laughed. Wanks who did not march up Mt. Shiggy had to drink an accusation
down-down; and I noticed those were the same wanks who sat down during
circle. Tie Me Down Dick won the right to sport the 169 pound chain; I
attribute that to him running with the harriettes who showed him the right
way to go. We tied-up a four-some and Rectal ran the gauntlet with the
brainless award again. Just Jill showed us what a Swan Dive is and explained
what a Caregiver does for a living. It is for that reason; henceforth and
forever more, until we decide to change it, Just Jill will now be known as
“Sponge Bath Shaved Pants.” For the life of me I don't remember who came up
with that, but it is quite a doozy! (SemperBi is to blame we think).
More baked goods were consumed, and the hash went in peace.
On-On!
Casual Friday.
Jolly Roger
H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #483
DMC's B-Day Hash
Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
Where: Meet towards the front of the Westchase Commons Office Park, located at 13033 W Linebaugh Ave Tampa, FL 33626. Its just east of Racetrack Road on Linebaugh.
When:
Directions:
From I-275 & I-4, in Central Tampa:
From Wesley Chapel, to the north:
From St Pete, to the south:
From Brandon, to the east:
From Clearwater & Dunedin, to the west:
Trail:
Cost:
Hares: DeadManCuming, LostMyBalls & JustBreun will be the hares.
On After:
Phone Number: