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Jolly
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Cas-ial’s helping with GRC’s Trail
A harriette we’d all like to Nail
She’s married; don’t bother
Dab could be her father
But if you try you are bound to fail
REPEAT AFTER ME:
Bless these hares
Bless this trail
Coppus no catch us
Doggus no bite us
Heatus no stroke us
In the name of
The Flour
The Fun
And The Holy Run
ON OFF!
GatorAte
Hash Trash
Jolly Roger H3, Saturday, June 20 Hash
Trash
Hares: GRC & Casual Friday
START: Holy Cow! It was a hot one at the Save-A-Lot in the hood! Many brave
wankers showed up to power through the heat with 169% humidity. GRC and I
prelaid a fantastic trail (it was GRC’s brainchild), and slogged through the 98
degree heat which felt like 2,069 degrees according to the weatherman. With 69
pounds of flour and 1,069 ounces of water to share between us, we completed the
trail just in time to suck down a beer before it was time for On-Out!
ON-OUT!: Riding in the beer van with A/C blowing, we hid the van on trail and
watched through the windshield while wankers were clearing trail. It was
perfectly clear the heat was slowing them down, yet that dang racist GatorAte
was in the lead, as usual. I took note of Gator marking the decision point for
the wanks behind him; and had a good laugh when all the turkey wankers ignored
his mark and sucked themselves into the same bad trail. We took the beer van to
the beer stop and positioned ourselves so we could see the FRBs coming in. The
race was on between Taint Tickler and Gator; I could tell Gator was sandbagging;
I assumed he was storing his energy for the finish. Taint Tickler won the beer
stop and looked like he was ready to barf. GatorAte had just enough energy to
lift his middle finger towards the sky while he was laying flat on his back. The
rest of the pack was not far behind; all wanks kept up with each other pretty
good. There was not one dry speck of clothing in the bunch; they all worked up a
good sweat getting sucked into each of the 269 check backs in a pinwheel
formation. Mission Impossible and Virgin Kevin spied the pack and short-cutted
to the beer van. The pack was on-out again, to be met with a challenging barbed
wire fence. They lucked-out; the killer dog that lives behind the fence was
caged, so we got to keep our limbs. All wanks made it through the small hole
unscathed; but secretly I was hoping for some good blood on trail, as I always
do! I walked with the pack and assured them that they would make it through the
final 1.69 miles after the second beer stop. After congratulating Taint for
winning the beer stop FRB again, I begged the pack to load up on water so they
could finish the rest of the 6-mile trail without getting heat exhaustion. A lot
of moans and groans were heard and GRC suggested they suck it up and get going
immediately.
Trail was completed just 2 blocks down the road from the second beer check and
Just Wayne had a few four-lettered words for the hares. GatorAte had another
finger to show me and I asked them what they expected from the hares but
shenanigans (hey, it was briefed at pre-circle for the virgins). As I expected,
GatorAte had energy in reserve and won the hash again; he is such a show-off.
CIRLCLE: Despite half the pack feeling nauseous and barfing their lunches, there
were many thumbs up during trail trial. Two thumbs were down, seems it was not
hot enough and there were not enough check backs. Gator called on Taint for a
song, and he was speechless; my guess is he was still trying to catch his breath
from winning the beer stops. The visiting Starferry, Virgin Kevin and Virgin
Jeremy entertained the energy-drained pack with jokes. Virgin Kevin pulled out
two full pieces of paper from his pocket and informed us he had a joke. I would
have traded in my good shoulder for a blowtorch at that moment! GatorAte saved
the day by snatching the paper and eating it. Just Tabatha got to drink for
being Virgin Kevin’s sponsor and not schooling him on “faster funnier.” Gator
did himself in the circle with the chain; making his mom proud once again. Taint
was moving very slowly, apparently there are drawbacks to racing. Are chaffed
balls really worth making your your dad accept you as his son? The brainless
award nominees included Tabitha for bringing a virgin with a novel to entertain
the pack, Likes to Watch for leaving her hash history and car keys at the first
beer stop, Taint for chaffing his balls to win, and myself for taking Likes to
Watch’s hash life and her way back home. I then dimed-out Just Wayne for taking
her things, knowing he wouldn’t dime-me-out for hiding her things, because he’s
still a green wanker. Just Wayne won the brainless; was I supposed to feel
guilty? Accusations included Likes To Watch for not crossing the street because
she “needed a breather,” Rectal Roommate for trying to dime-out a hare for not
having chalk (hell, the Turkeys didn't follow the marks anyway!), and myself for
volunteering to help GRC prelay a 1,069 mile trail in 100,069 degree heat index
(that might have been the brainless). Like the true retard hasher that I am, I
forgot to make GatorAte drink for drawing a rude illustration of himself in my
hash notes that were covered in orange cheesy ball stuff; not sure if the two
things were related.
The virgins were schooled in Swing Low and the hash got a piece.
On-On!
Casual Friday
Jolly Roger
H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #472
Saturday, June 20th, 2009
Where: Meet in the Save A Lot Grocery Store parking lot, located at 2271 E Bearss Ave, in Tampa, Florida.
When: Meet at 5:00 PM, on trail at 6:00 PMish.
Directions: Click here for a map.
Go south on I-75 for 8.4 miles. Go right, or west on Bruce B Down Blvd/CR-581 S via Exit 270, for 4.7 miles. Go right on Bearss Ave E for .6 miles and find the Save-A-Lot on the left.From Wesley Chapel, to the north:
From Central Tampa, to the south: Go north on I-275 for about 9 miles. Go right, or east on Bearss for 1.6 miles, at Exit 53 and find the Save-A-Lot on the right.
From Lakeland, to the east: Go west on I-4 until you get to I-75 at Exit 9. Go north on I-75 for 5.4 miles. Go left, or west on E Fletcher Ave/CR-582A W via Exit 266, for 5.2 miles. Go right on Bruce B Downs Blvd for .7 miles. Go left on Bearss for .5 miles and find the Save-A-Lot on the left.
From Carrollwood, to the west: From Dale Mabry, go east on Bearss for 4.8 miles and find the Save-A-Lot on the right.
Cost: $6 donation.
Hare: GayRodeoClown & CasualFriday will be the hares.
On After: The on after will be at Bobalouies, located at 1913 E Bearss. Click here for a map. To get there from the starting location, go left, or west on Bearss for .3 miles and find Bobalouies on the left. Click here for a map.
Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.