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Shot, Gator & SexyWetBack too.
They're our hares,
And I'm Dabadoo.
The trail is live.
The streets are wet.
That's about all
you're going to get.
Bless these hares.
Bless this trail.
Coppus not catch us.
Doggus no bite us.
Lightning no strike us.
In the name of the flour,
the fun, and the holy run,
Compliments of Dab
Jolly Rogers H3
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Hares: Shot by a Whore and GatorAte My Penis & Bringing $exy Wet Back
PRE-CIRCLE: The sky
opened up just in time for hearty wanks who gathered in downtown Tampa to
hash through tornado warnings and monsoon rains; the lightning show was
pretty cool, too. Shot stood on the sidewalk with his bright orange
deer-hunting cap daring the lightning Gods to hit him; he obviously had not
heard how Lucky Strike received his hash name. GatorAte wore his safety
glasses to keep the rain out of his eyes; I hear raindrops are an issue when
running a 69-second mile. It was not a fantastic evening to wear a tiny
white tennis skirt; perhaps that is why Bringing Sexy Wetback drove the beer
van. The naming clipboard circulated among the wankers standing inside a
door that Patrick (our on-afters empathetic bartender) opened for us.
Eventually we were all ushered back out into the downpour in order to rush
through chalk talk, as each marking lasted less than 69 seconds on the
ON-OUT: Trail took the pack through muddy construction and a homeless shelter; most of the residents of the shelter were outside watching the lightning show. I started out walking trail, but kicked into high gear when a homeless gentleman pointed out that I was slacking. I now wonder if GlowDick had slipped the dude a 5-spot for that purpose. Most of us were denied access to a parking garage on trail, the Parking Nazi and his security sidekick dialed 911 and threatened the gas chamber if we entered. I am guessing the pack was the most excitement those two have seen in years. I can picture Shot with his orange hunting cap, running through the gate dropping white powder on their shoes while giving them a one-fingered salute; perhaps that is why we were given such a hard time. I am here to say the beer van was a welcome sight in the downpour. I barely recognized Fat Bastard who sprinted to the beer stop through sheets of rain; I think he was Jonesing for BS FRB.
CIRCLE: GatorAte ran circle with the clipboard wrapped in plastic; a good RA always has a good plan and a towel on his head to keep the rain from dripping in his eyes. I would like to report that Virgin Wayne entertained us, however I can only remember him standing in circle with his jaw on the ground. I’ll Take “Em Both” took care of Just Vicki and Just Jesse, and two wanks were tied up; I finally received my 69 (woohoo!) band and Yeast Infection got his 25th milestone hash band. Despite many eagles in the pack, Pin Cushion received the FRB award...that just goes to show you, some things ain’t worth racing for! The hares won the brainless award for not placing an order for decent weather. Due to the thunder and lightning, we kept the naming event extremely short. The pack agreed in unison to name Just Deb, “Clittle Debbie Snatch Cakes.” Synchronized swimming was executed to the tune of Swing Lo, and the hash got a piece.
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
Meet in the parking lot located in the southeast corner of E Twiggs Street & N Ashley Ave, in downtown Tampa, Florida.
When: Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM sharp!
Directions: Click here for a map.Go north on I-275, for 2.5 miles, take Exit 44 toward DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST, for .1 mile, take Exit 44 toward DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST/Ashley Drive-Tampa Street, for .2 miles, stay straight to go onto N Ashley Dr for .5 miles, left on Twiggs and find the parking lot on the immediate right.
From I-275 & Dale Mabry, in Central Tampa:
From Wesley Chapel, to the north: Go south on I-75, south on I-275 for 15.9 miles, take Exit 45A to DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST, for .6 miles, take the Ashley Dr ramp toward DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST for .3 miles, take the Ashley Dr ramp toward Tampa St, for.4 miles, stay straight to go onto N Ashley Dr for .5 miles, left on Twiggs and find the parking lot on the immediate right.
From St. Pete, to the south: Go north on I-275 across Tampa Bay, take Exit 44 toward DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST, for .1 mile, take Exit 44 toward DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST/Ashley Drive-Tampa Street, for .2 miles, stay straight to go onto N Ashley Dr for .5 miles, left on Twiggs and find the parking lot on the immediate right.
From Brandon, to the east: Go west on the Crosstown Expressway towards Tampa. Take the SR-60 Exit, at Exit 8, towards DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST for .2 miles, slight right onto E John F Kenney Blvd/US-41 BR N/FL-60 W, for .4 miles, right onto N Ashley Dr for .1 miles, right on Twiggs and find theparking lot on the immediate right.
From Clearwater, to the west: Go east on eat on FL 60, north on I-275 for 4.4 miles, take Exit 44 toward DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST, for .1 mile, take Exit 44 toward DOWNTOWN EAST-WEST/Ashley Drive-Tampa Street, for .2 miles, stay straight to stay on Ashley Drive for .1 miles, slight left to take the Tampa Street ramp toward AQUARIUM-SEAPORT ARENA/CONVENTION CTR/HARBOR ISLAND, for .1 miles, SLIGHT RIGHT onto N TAMPA ST/US-41 BR S/FL-685 S, for .2 miles, left on Twiggs for .1 miles and find the parking lot on the right just prior to Florida Ave.
Hares: ShotByA-Whore & Gator8 will be the "live" hares. Shot dares you to come out to try to catch his ass.
Cost: $6 donation.
On After: The on after will at the 502 Sports Cafe, located at 502 Tampa Street. To get there from the starting location, go right, or east on Twiggs for .1 miles, right on Tampa Street for .1 miles and find the 502 Sports Cafe on the left. Click here for a map.
Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost call or mobile phone at 813-943-4855.