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Rectal's Birthday Hash.
So all you ladies feel free to flash.
WannaEarnAnA is Rectal's co-hare
and they say its live, so there may be a snare.
Tail is stroller and dog friendly too,
so be very careful not to step in the doo.
Bless these hares.
Bless this trail.
Coppus no catch us.
Doggus no bite us.
In the name of the flower,
the fun an the holy run,
Jolly Roger H3
April 29, 2009
Hares: Rectal Roommate & Wanna Earn An A
Many wanks gathered
at the beautiful Bayshore Park , filling up the parking lot with “on-on”
stickered cars. Wanna Earn an A in her slender glory and Rectal Roommate in
his crowned Birthday Princess pride were ready to lay the live trail as they
needed at least 1,169 seconds of time. Kitty Litter conducted chalk talk
while showing off his FRB chain; there were no new signs but one favorite
old one; you guessed it, the package check!
TRAIL: Wankers and canines took off down Bayshore Blvd and seemed to bottleneck around the geriatric restaurant, the Colonade. The old fogies who missed the early bird special, but still got a window seat had something to watch as Shot By A Whore ran up from behind the turkey wanks sporting his formalwear from a previous cocktail party. Goo’s canine wanker built a log cabin in a single 69 second squat, left behind for the local toy poodles to play in. Not to be out-done, canine wank #2 built a guest house. The trail took most wanks down the street, except for Kitty Litter, Lost My Balls, and Stretchy Bitz who cut the trail in half by ranging down a railroad track, but were not fast enough to catch the Birthday Princess! A YBF on Bayshore Blvd caught a few wanks and eased the minds of neighbors with “don’t worry it’s only flour” written on the sidewalk. Not that this would stop a busybody from dialing 911 anyway. Despite Wanna getting caught by a train while laying trail on the tracks, many YBFs slowed down the front runners. Wanna and Rectal did well, as they successfully laid a live non-snared trail; despite having multiple heart attacks from hearing whistles behind every bush.
CIRCLE: The majority of thumbs were up for trail trial, a couple BJs were given out, and chalk was sucked by Goolight Special. Likes to Watch was tied up for a monumental 69 times (woohoo!), 2Short 4A 3Sum was tied for 10 and Kitty Litter trumped them all by getting tied for 225 hashes--you can do that when you’re old and have no life. I Be Smart and Rectal Roommate where recognized for their birthdays and Kitty Litter showed off again sporting the FRB chain for winning (finish); he seriously thinks it gets him the chicks. 2Short was the FRB at the beer stop; he low-keyed it as he knows all the chicks dig his hair, not the chain. Shot By A Whore received the brainless award for leaving his hash clothes at home in the laundry basket. Just Marc was up for a good name, thanks to his story about his feet getting stuck in a barstool and falling into his female friend’s crotch, face-first. The pack named him Head Plant Vagina, otherwise known as “HPV.” Congratulations HPV and welcome to the elite world of STD wankers!
And finally, we gave 2Short a send off, as he is taking his warthog hairdo and lightning-fast gazelle legs to New York. The good news is, we’ll have crash space and his mom will cook us breakfast! Yay!
Check train schedules
Birthday shot glass for APRES haring
Poop bags; don’t leave home without them
Flip flops and a suit will get you the chicks
“I rocked the princess crown!” --Rectal Roommate
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
RectalRoomMate's B-Day Hash
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
Where: Meet in Bay Shore Park, located in the southwest corner of Bay To Bay Blvd and Bay Shore Blvd, in South Tampa, Florida. When: Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM sharp!
Directions: Clickhere for a map.Go south on Dale Mabry, left, or east on Bay To Bay Blvd and find Bayshore Park on the right just prior to Bayshore Blvd.From I-275 & Dale Mabry, in Central Tampa:
Go south on I-75 for 4.9 miles, south on I-275 for 15.9 miles, take Exit 45 towards Downtown East-West for .6 miles, take the Ashley ramp towards Downtown West for .3 miles, take the Ashley ramp towards Tampa Street for .4 miles, stay straight to go onto N Ashley Drive for .6 miles, go right, or west on W Kennedy for .6 miles, go left on Willow Dr for .1 miles, take the south Crosstown Expressway Toll West for 2 miles, take the W Bay To Bay Blvd exit, at Exit 3, go right, or east on W Bay To Bay for .3 miles and find Bayshore Park on the right.
From Wesley Chapel, to the north:
From St. Petersburg, to the south: Go east on Gandy across Tampa Bay and follow it until it ends at Bayshore Blvd. Go north on Bayshore for 1.8 miles and find Bayshore Park on the left.
From Brandon, to the east: Go south on the Crosstown Expressway for 9.3 miles, take the W Bay To Bay Blvd exit, at Exit 3, go right, or east on Bay To Bay for .3 miles and find Bayshore Park on the right.
From Clearwater, to the west: Take FL Hwy 60 eastward across Tampa Bay, southward onto the Veterans Expressway, under I-275, where FL 60 it becomes Kennedy. Continue eastward on Kennedy until you get to Dale Mabry Blvd. Go south on Dale Mabry for 1.7 miles, left, or east on W Bay To Bay Blvd for .9 miles and find Bayshore Park on the right.
Hare:RectalRoomMate and WannaEarnAnA will be the hares.
Cost: $6 donation.
Remarks: This will be RectalRoomMate's Birthday Hash, so bring a gag gift if you like.
On After: The on after will be at Wings Gone Wild, located at 3114 W Bay To Bay Blvd. To get there from the starting location, go left, or west on W Bay to Bay for .2 miles and find Wings Gone Wild on the left. Click here for a map.
Phone Number:For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.