None. It was on hare..

Free trail for all the hashers, free trail for all the hashers, free trail for all the hashers...Dabadoo saves, yes he saves, yes he saves!

After being blasted out of our air mattresses with GRC's music, most of us gathered around the kitchen for the "on-hare" free trail; putting on tennis shoes and flip flops (we'll get back to that). The morning was grueling, as the pepper poppers were churning in our intestines and the pound cake was soaking up the alcohol that was still down there from a few short hours prior to on-out. A good dozen-ish of us hearty wankers head out for the breakfast trail, waiving good-bye to Lightning. We were not to be slowed down by the pelting rain and mud baths that most of us would get, Hell no! We forged on as there was sure to be some entertainment leading to accusations at the end of this trail!

We were involuntarily pushed through a defunct golf course by the blustery wind; some of us were blown off trail and had to crawl back to join the pack. Just Polly was feeling pretty smart as she pulled out her pocket-sized rain poncho and put it on backwards. Funny how she wondered why she was soaking wet just after 69 seconds of walking with it on. All trail marks were of course GONE from the rain so we only had GRC who pointed us in the wrong direction on purpose, much to the sounds of her laughter. There was no beer stop, as most of us were starving and frozen to death. Wait a minute, that's no excuse! We stopped at a warm up station for a group hug and continued on, knowing there would be food at some point in time before we all were to die. We came to the point of no return on trail, which I fondly call "mud hill." It was quite a challenge, as it was a pretty steep climb in the rain. Those of us who wore tennis shoes, made it up and over without rolling down the hill like a sausage rolling off a breakfast plate. GRC, Dab and I stopped and waited for the two DFLs, to make sure they'd get up and over okay. The two harriettes who thought they'd wear their flip flops because they didn't want to get their tennis shoes all wet, were in for a rude awakening, and GRC, Dab and I were in for a treat!

The three of us watched Phuk Pocket make it up the hill in one piece, but we held our breath for the downhill. I begged her to keep her feet moving so she wouldn't slide; so she took my advice and locked her feet up in one spot. The flip flops started sliding down hill while her stance widened; I saw the look of panic on her face as one foot was moving faster than the other, spinning her around sideways while continuing to move downhill very gracefully, yet with the look of terror on her face. It was like watching a slow motion video; GRC and I laughed hysterically while Dab was digging around in his pants looking for his camera, or something. For a second, we thought Phuk Pocket could get out of the turn, but she gave up and did a belly flop onto the muddy downhill. At least it stopped her from sliding down the entire embankment. While she was laying spread-eagle eating mud, we saw Just Polly's head pop up from the back. Then I got worried we'd have a muddy harriette sandwich...not in a good way. Just then we heard a little yelp and Just Polly's head disappeared...uh oh. We lost her; another hasher down! Apparently the poor girl was sliding down the uphill while wearing her snappy little rain poncho on backwards. She thought best to reach for a tiny vine to pull her up the muddy hill, but it just couldn't hold her. Instead, it got tangled up with her poncho and choked her ass while she slid down the rest of the uphill; just so she could try it all over again. At this point Phuk Pocket rolled over on her keister and slid the rest of the way down; plowing mud up the back-end of her shorts. Despite our pleas for Just Polly to go around the hill, she was not going to be defeated! She got to the top of the uphill as we shouted our hurrays! She took one step forward, and the same dang thing happened, as did with Phuk Pocket, but faster. She locked up her feet, fell on her butt and slid down the whole side of the hill and collected the rest of the mud into her pants, that Phuk Pocket had left be hind. It's a darn good thing she put that friggin' rain poncho on!

Dab, GRC and I had to collect ourselves and stop laughing enough so we could walk with the two mudcakes, and catch up to the pack. Thank goodness we stopped by a beautiful pond, so GRC could help the girls bathe, as Crackerbarrel was sure not to let us in. Dab was digging in his pants again. We crossed the road and the crackerbarrel was in sight, and the rain stopped. We walked to the hostess and told her there was a horrible accident in the 10k race that we all just finished but it was okay because nobody got seriously hurt; and that is why we were late for our reserved table and looked like drowned rats. We sat down, and there was Lightning Rod. Where the f*ck was she and her car when some of us were rolling around in the mud? I smelled an accusation. We chowed down and slid out of the Crackerbarrel as fast as we could. Everybody autohashed back, except for the REAL hearty wankers--GRC and I hoofed it back; and showed up with trees on our shoulders and horns on our heads (don't ask GRC where we got them, I hope we weren't on camera).

Circle commenced around the outdoor table as the sky broke and the sun came out. All autohashers had to drink, Lightning drank as a late cummer, Lost My Balls cleansed the Brainless skull which hadn't been cleaned since yesterday's hash so and chunks of mystery goo got stuck in his windpipe. While he was chewing on mystery bits, Phuk Pocket received the brainless for her stunt on Mudd Hill and finished what mystery bits LMB left in the spine of the skull. Just Polly got her BJ from Whiney Bitch, she took so long I started making origami swans from my scribe notepaper. Accusations went to Just Polly for wearing her poncho on backwards and hanging herself, Phuk Pocket and Just Polly for wearing flip flops on trail, Just Polly and Yeast Infection for wearing spiffy rain gear on trail, and Dab, GRC and Kitty Litter had to drink because they hadn't been called out for anything, but should have. I am still a bit unclear how I got the FRB, as GRC, the trees and I were all neck and neck. That's the last friggin' time I open the door for that wanking woman!

We sung both verses of Swing Low and dispersed in the sun.

On-On,
Casual Friday

 

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #453
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Special Hangover Breakfast Hash

Where: Meet at Dabadoo and GaryRodeoClown's house, located at 7007 Orvicti Ct, in Wesley Chapel, Florida 33544.

When: Meet at 9:00 AM, pack away on trail at 9:30 AM sharp!

Cost: Free for people who were at the hash the night before. Make sure you bring your wallet along so you can pay for your breakfast at a nearby restaurant. We'll be asking for a $6 donation, for the hash, from anybody showing up new. 

Hares/Hosts: GayRodeoClown & Dabadoo will be the hares.

On After: The on after will be at Dab & GRC's house back at the start where there will be a (heated) pool & hot tub party. 

Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.