Jolly Roger H3
Run #452
March 28th, 2009
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Hare Blessing

Here's to GRC and RectalRoomMate too.
They're our hares and I'm Dabadoo.
This is Rectals virgin lay.
I hope his trail is not too gay.
Its supposed to be a shiggy fest.
So, I guess we should all expect the best.

Bless these hares.
Bless this trail.
Coppus no catch us.
Snakes no bite us.

In the name of the flower,
the fun,
and the holy run.

On Off!


Hash Trash

It was the JRH3 Shiggy Fest and a handful of us Harriettes bought some shiggy guards from GRC as we knew we'd need them. Sweet I Da Ho planned ahead and wore shoes that would match them. I didn't want to look like all the other harriettes, so I pushed mine down around my ankles, like everything else I wear. The previous FRB was Saigon Sally, he's such a showoff. After presenting his greatness, GRC gave us the chalk talk; she was Rectal Roommate's mentor, as it was his virgin lay. Dab gave the blessing as Virgin for Life doused the dead hares with holy beer. Rectal was smiling during the whole blessing because he knew he wasn't going to get caught.

The Pack left while dodging modified sedans and trucks whose owners needed an extension ladder to get to into the driver's seat. All wankers were smiling and laughing through the sand and the thick forests, except for Just Corey. He must have known that he was going to be the designated beer bitch, and we all had BIG CUPS to keep filled! I was feeling pretty spry and had much pent up energy due to lack of sex; so I ran. While most runners had a steady pace going, we all got cockblocked from Yeast Infection. He decided it would be best not to risk a scratch while traversing the dense forest, so he kept the rest of us wannaberunners behind his walking fanny. I saw Whiney Bitch grab some toilet paper and make some origami animals while waiting for Yeast to get out of the way. Kitty Litter took some toilet paper and shitinthewoods while waiting for our-man-Yeasty to pick up the pace. I decided I would stop and pull my clothes up from my ankles, since it would be a while before we'd get to run again. It's Starting To Bleed tried her best to get around Yeasty-boy, but he wouldn't let her through. Her break was when she came up to a ladies' check and he HAD to stop. Did I mention Rectal was hiding in the bushes at the check? He said he wanted to make sure we were all on trail; but we knew better. We broke free from the forest and wouldn't you know it, Yeasty put it in gear and sped towards the beer van because he wanted to win! The beer stop lasted just 69 seconds; which for PhukPocket, wasn't long enough. She was laying flat on her back breathing heavy and wanting a cigarette; not like this is anything new for her. The last part of trail involved more cockblocking in the forest by Yeast Infection; he was begging for a beating by Saigon Sally. Yeasty pulled the same move and picked up the pace just when we broke free from the woods again; to win the FRB award.

Circle commenced behind the hash house, with Tits On Command who promptly sat down and Tootie who checked his crackberry for any calls from his mommy. We only had a few disgruntled "shitty trail wankers" in the circle, I think they complained about not having enough shiggy. I had no complaints as Rectal put a package check on trail for me! Did I mention he was hiding in the bushes at that check, too? He wanted to make sure I got what I deserved. Dab and Tootie refrained from helping the harriettes out at that check, my guess is they missed a few days of manscaping. Virgin for Life was showing his blood on trail from racing through the dry reeds; however that's not what the pack was looking at in the photos. Just Polly was brought into the circle and did a pole dance for us. BJs were given, Tits On Command got bit by Just Corey and Just Debbie got a mouthful of Yeasty change and a car key. Virgin For Life was tied up 69 times, and Saigon passed the 1,069 pound chain to Yeast Infection, The Cockblocker. GRC cleansed the vessel and Lost My Balls won the brainless award for wrecking his car and showing up late with a virgin. Once again, we were entertained with the brainless award as LMB pulled a gag reflex and poured the entire skull of beer down the front of his face, shirt and pants, like a naughty little two-year-old. It was hot. Chalk suckers were plentiful;Taint Tickler, Just Polly, Lost My Balls, Just Michelle, Sweet I Da Ho and Tits On Command. Why you girls gotta take that stuff home with you? Just Debbie did a down-down and poured most of her beer over her head, right on top of Cosmo's head which proved that nobody is safe in circle; not wank nor beast. Eight wankers were not wearing hash gear (WTF?) and Sally once again did not bring his whistle; I think he believes it slows him down on trail.
GRC lead us through half of Swing Low and dismissed us; I think she had been drinking too much and had to pee.

Classic Phrases:
GRC: "This man can move some shrubbery!"
Just Debbie: "I think that's change"
Just Corey: "I can't find it"
GRC: "Why did you hit her on her little cranium, you know she's not right!"
Just Corey: "I'm not good with small holes"
Lost My Balls: "Anyone want to dry my balls?"

On-On Wankers!
Casual Friday


Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #452
2nd An(nu)al March Hare, Wild Hare, Shiggy Fest Hash
Saturday, March 28th, 2009

Where: This is an RSVP Event! Meet in the southwest corner of the Sweetbay Parking lot, located at 27301 State Rd 54, in Wesley Chapel, Florida.

When: Meet at 4:00 PM, on trail at 5:00 PMish.

Directions: Click here for a map.

From Ocala, to the north: Go south on I-75, west on State Road 54 for .7 miles and find the Sweetbay on the right. 

From St. Pete, to the south: Go north on I-275, north on I-75, west on State Road 54 for .7 miles and find the Sweetbay on the right.

From Orlando, to the east: Go west on I-4, north on I-275, north on I-75, west on State Road 54 for .7 miles and find the Sweetbay on the right.

From New Port Richey, to the west: Go east on State Road 54 left on Old Pasco Rd, left on Quail Hallow, left on Sora, an immediate right on Orvicti and find 7007 at the end of the cul-de-sac.

Hares: GRC, Dab & RectalRoomMate will be the hares. This will be RectalRoommate's virgin lay.

Religious Advisor: GRC will be the Acting RA.

On After: The on after will be at GRC and Dab's house where there will be a BBQ, and heated pool & hot tub party, bonfire and hash movies. A pool table and dart board will also be available for your use.

Directions to the On After: To get there from the starting location, go right on Old Pasco Road, left on Quail Hollow, left on Sora an immediate right on Orvicti Ct and find 7007 at the end of the cul-de-sac. Click here for a map.

Cost: $15 donation, which includes the hash, a special surprise gimmie, food (BBQ burgers, brats', etc) and continued beverage at the on after. It also covers a hangover breakfast hash the next morning for those who spend the night. However, breakfast will be at your own expense at local restaurant.

RSVP: Please send an email to with the below info if you plan to attend.

Name: (Hash name, or mortal name if none)

Spending night :(Y or N)

Sleeping Arrangements: To avoid a DUI

Remarks: (Trail only, on after only, etc)

Who's Coming: Click here to see who's coming so far.

Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.

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