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Jolly
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Jolly
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Hare Blessing
Welcome to
Just Kevin’s virgin trail
With Kitty Litter and I’ll Take ‘m Both, he will not fail.
They’ll be checks, YBF’s and a stop for ale
And if we get lucky a short cut for us snails
Now, one question, and please do tell
As was warned, did the “dark side” prevail?
Bless these hares
Bless this trail
Gang bangers no cap us
Coppus no catch us
Loose dogus no chase us
In the name of the Flour
The fun
And the Holy Run
ON-OUT
Courtesy of
GayRodeoClown
Hash Trash
The Jolly Roger H3
had a great turn out for Just Kevin's virgin lay! The chasing of the hares
would happen later on that night at the on-afters, as this hash had a dread
trail. Gay Rodeo Clown introduced the many virgins to our kennel and Kitty
Litter ran chalk talk. I took careful note of the whichy way sign and got a
little scared; so I ran back to my car to get my flashlight. I held onto my
trusty disco-light hash mug as my "wherethef*ckamI?" back-up plan. I saw
Deep Throat Thursday and Freeway Split Her show up with a cooler on wheels;
hmmm...that had to be good news! Indeed it was, but I'll get back to that.
The pack took off on the outskirts of a construction zone, a few of us would
have liked to go through it, but that would be another day. While trail took
us through some quaint neighborhoods, Ring My Ding-a-ling was waving to men
in trucks and on motorcycles. Phuk Pocket and I pretended not to know him
while we concentrated on finding a place to pop a squat. The beer check was
a welcome sight, as there was a Saw Palmetto cluster to that called our
name; I reminded myself not in a good way, that they have teeth capable of
cutting right through a butt-crack. Most of the pack was already at the beer
stop, and I was told there were a number of wankers who made FRB at this
stop, including Finger in the Queen, Likes to Watch and Just Wes. We didn't
linger as it was getting dark. I had to laugh when the pack came up to a
ladies' check on trail; just 10 feet from the shot stop. "GEE GOMER, WHICH
WAY SHOULD WE GO?" Many shots were consumed from the cooler on wheels. Yay!!!
They were darn good, I might add. I think I taste-tested all the colors;
three times. My note-taking penmanship was turning to sh*t at this point,
but I do believe the over-achiever at this stop was OxyMoron.
I made note of a few classic phrases on trail:
Phuk Pocket: "I've got beer and shots all over my tits!" (is that a bad
thing?)
Just Kevin: "Oh my balls are chaffing!" (well duh, you ran the trail twice
with no undies!)
Freeway Split Her: "Beer Wench; douse the virgins!" (we should make that a
tradition when there's more than 2)
Circle commenced behind Charanns Bar & Grill with trail trial; more wanks
were in the circle for shitty trail than were left on the outside. The
virgins attempted entertaining the pack; I think the shots had affected
their performance as well as our ability to judge. Just Kevin had an
epileptic seizure, I was told that was Brazilian Jujitsu. Virgin John told a
joke; I didn't hear it but that's okay; jokes are never fast or funny-enough
to pay attention to anyway; best just to show a body part and move on to the
next virgin. We got a song and a tatoo from two virgin harriettes, another
virgin tore his shirt off, and we got a pole dance. Special note was made
that no virgins got chalk for trail, so the sponsors drank with their
virgins. The FRB at finish was Hocky Phuk, the auto hashers (you know who
you are Shetland Bony, Yeast Infection and Where's My Goat!) were dimed-out,
and the late-cummers were busted (U-Drive I'll F*ck and her two virgins,
Ellen and Barb). We welcomed Puppy back to town and our Jax visitor, Rank
Floater to the hash. Two harriers were tied up; I was a bit jealous but kept
taking notes anyway. Rectal Roommate received his 25th headband and Ring
received his 50th; congratulations to those wankers for not having a life!
When It was time for the brainless award, U-Drive's name came up more than
once (go figure). She was nominated for non-stop talking through-out circle,
for not telling her two virgins to wear tennis shoes, and also for telling
her virgin harriettes not to wear their short skirts (gee, you might get a
name like Casual Friday or something). However, GRC received the brainless
award for pouring the beer through the funnel hose onto her face by
accident, while attempting a down-down demo; of how not to do it,
apparently. The Pack gets kudos from the scribe for being over-achievers as
two namings were executed promptly! Just Kristina was named "Pet me, I'm
drunk" b ecause she was drunk one time in band camp and fell asleep in a
Petsmart. Just Matt was named "Missionary Impossible" because his favorite
sexual position is missionary. He also said his craziest place he's ever had
sex was in the back seat of a car. Dios mio, he's a wild-man!
U-Drive talked through Swing Low, and all in all, it was another shitty
Thursday night trail, with great fun had by all!
On-On,
Casual Friday
JRH3 Scribe
Jolly Roger
H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #451
Thursday, March 26th, 2009
Where:
When:
Directions:
From I-4 & I-275, in Central Tampa:
From Lutz, to the north:
From St. Pete, to the south:
From Brandon, to the east:
From Clearwater, to the west:
Cost:
Hare:
On After:
Phone Number:
