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couldn’t pick a THEME
Rome, green, and BJs make quite a TEAM
But we’ve chosen our FAVE
It is steak that we CRAVE
This great holiday must be a DREAM
For us Treasure Island seems just RIGHT
Stevenson’s book is of pirate’s PLIGHT
Treasure maps with an X
Songs of beer and of SEX
Follow trail until treasure’s in SIGHT
REPEAT AFTER ME:
Bless this hare
Bless this trail
Coppus no catch us
Doggus no bite us
Pirates no raid us
In the name of
And The Holy Run
Compliments of GatorAteMyPenis
Hares: Kitty Litter & Stretchy Bitz (virgin lay!)
The weather was ripe for another beach hash, with 69 themes brought to us lucky wankers by Kitty Litter and Stretchy Bitz. While the Firemen unfurled their hoses, wankers set down their beer and moved their cars three blocks down the road to legal parking. Late-cummers were at the mercy of chalked-chicken scratch on the road directing them to the adjusted start. Stretchy Bitz’s virginal haring debut started with a quick car-ride (scout trip) from Kitty Litter to point out trail. Yikes. I thought for sure someone was in trouble, both the pack and the hares!
The multi-themed pack was released after allowing the hares a 69 second head start. I drove the beer van in circles to confuse the observant FRBs and parked my fanny by some stinky recycling dumpsters in a playground. Kitty Litter and Stretchy made it to the beer stop/hash halt before the pack; safe from any snares on the first leg. Sweat was pouring and Stretchy’s knees were shaking, as I forgot to offer both hares a cold beer. I was impressed how Stretchy picked up the gist of the trail from Kitty’s 69-second auto scouting trip. The FRBs looked to be in competition today, and at the last minute Gatorate My Penis tripped Lost My Balls to win the first round of trail. Gator is incredibly proud of his racism, and I’m sure his mommy is too.
A few wankers made it to finish before the beer van (oops!), as I was stuck behind an ambulance carting off some old geezer. There was confusion to where the finish was located since the start of the A-to-A trail had been adjusted, but it all worked out. Circle commenced on the grassy park; Virgin Debbie, and visitors Hot Carl, Lost My Balls, Just Ange, Tallman and Ring Master, and the pack were all welcomed. Our Bangladesh visitors, Ring Master and Tallman, entertained us with a song about Heineken (not to be confused with our Heineken song), and Virgin Debbie entertained us with an interpretive dance. She needed a pole, and Just Rich and Tallman climbed over each other to be the chosen prop of the day. The best part of their entertainment series was the cheek-to-cheek stance. Being that Virgin Debbie stands at just a few feet tall, and Tallman stands at 169 inches (do the math!); it was quite humorous observing Tallman’s glutes resting on the Virgin Debbie’s shoulders. The FRB was given to Lost My Balls; I figured Gatorate must have been detained by Naughty Call Girl somewhere on the beach trail as it was “Steak & Blowjob day” and she was wearing an apron with kneepads. A few blowjobs were given out (duh!) and the brainless award was given to GRC (I think Dab didn’t get his steak).
Swing low was swung and wanks took off to entertain the folks at the American Legion.
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Saturday, March 14th, 2009
St. Patty's Dayish, Ides Of March Dayish &
Blow Job & A Steak Night (take your pick) Hash
From Clearwater Beach, to the north:
From Bradenton/Sarasota, to the south:
From I-275 & I-4 in Central Tampa, to the east:
From the Gulf Beaches to the west:
Theme: Come dressed for St. Patty's Dayish (in green), Military (red, white & blue perhaps), Ides of March Dayish (in a togo), or Blow Job & A Steak Night (clean underwear, I guess). Take your pick.