Hares: Deep Throat Thursday and Freeway Split Her

Plenty of thirsty wanks showed up in South Tampa for the birthday hash. After playing “where’s start,” we gathered in a parking lot large enough to sponsor a Flobox concert. I must say, I was impressed with Deep Throat’s chalk talk; she executed it like a seeded hare! She had researched trail signs and laid some new ones on us; “SSS”, “PDB”, “ONA+” and some whichyway sign that proved to be the death of me…but I digress. She also drew a sign for a hairy-ball check, but I still do not believe there ever was one. Once again however, I was reminded that all I need to do is ask.

The dead hares were blessed and On-On with his new aerodynamic haircut streaked out in front. The first half of trail was laid with perfection; but Dab and I had to laugh when a decision point had a “BN” marked on one side of it. Gee…which way do you think we went? Beer was consumed at the hash halt and off we went, with a promise of a shot check and a group spank check. I was stoked!

Yeast Infection and I were ahead of the walkers and behind the FRBs; I guess you could say we were the taint. We entered an enchanted shiggy forest and traversed over a very cool elevated walkway. That is were we saw the runners on the road through the trees and the dreaded whichyway sign that was to be a true trail both ways. We continued on and ran into a dead end on the walkway; neither of us were about to jump as my arm was in a sling and Yeast split his head open the last time he jumped off of a ledge. So we returned to the trail sign and head in the other direction, knowing (cough) that we would still be on trail. Short story long, the powder ended, and we searched for 1,069 hours for powder or chalk marks, knowing this was a true trail. It was challenging since the only equipment we had was Yeast’s little dim headlight and my disco-lighted beer mug. We gave up and headed back towards start, as all level-headed hashers do when befuddled. We missed the shot check (dammit!) and we missed group spanking (dammit!) but we got back to start after a pit stop at the Burger King (hey, a girl’s gotta pee after wandering around the ‘Hood in the dark for 1,069 hours!). It was a good thing we made it back to start on our own (kudos to Whiney Bitch for his pack arrows), as the Pack wasn’t going to sweep until a week from Tuesday. Yeast walked to his car and I walked towards the keg when I heard “Casual get in the circle!”

Fuck Circle! It was all about beer for me at that point! Ingrid apologized for not leaving any shots for me as she said she sucked down more than her share. I was greeted by a surprise shot stash and the beer bitch’s pitcher, and my mood lifted! YAY!!! I hadn’t had this much attention since my mom lost me in a park when I was 4 years old.

Since I was busy dodging angry dogs and big cars in the dark, I had to refer to the hash photos for Circle fun. Room Service received her 50th hash headband, Dab received the Brainless Award for lack of headcount (doh!), and it looks like Gator bogarted the FRB chain again.

There was much drinking and great fun was had by all!

On-On!
Casual Friday