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Hare Blessing

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Hash Trash

I had the feeling things might not go like clockwork when I pulled into the wrong place for the hash on-start. The beauty of that however, was that I had the beer in my car! So I called to Racing Stripes and BJz to have the pack come to me.

So after three U-turns I finally made it to the start location. Just Wendy was in her car reading a good book; so good in fact, that she forgot she had her reading glasses on and did the librarian-hash-thing…that gave me an idea for my birthday hash next month.

The He-men Women Haters pulled out a keg from my backend and I proceeded to let the pack know that in celebration of the missing Hash Masters, the evening’s hash was free! Suddenly I became popular; however Bed & Buckfest and Harelip put an end to my 15 seconds of fame in about 5. I swear I just blinked once and BJz the birthday girl had something large in her mouth (again). Racing Stripes looked jealous, but being that he was the lone live hare, he had to keep his strength up. Bjz also reminded him it was her birthday, and not his.

We welcomed the returner Bimbo on the Run as we haven’t seen her in 69 years, and greeted Virgin Robert with his canine Virgin Chloe. Racing received his blessing and flew out of the parking lot like a 169-year old snail. Hash aerobics commenced and I’m here to tell you that Saigon Sally had the balance of a mountain goat; before he fell over.

Being the Beer Angel, I smiled and waived as the pack left the on-start. I parked just where I was instructed to set up the hash halt beer stop; by two police squad cars. So the beer moved to the other side of the car, which foiled WillSing4Head and Kitty Litter. I sat at the back of the car listening to them count the flour, as they did not recognize my vehicle. I almost let them run by me straight into a check back; but Harelip didn’t have the heart to let me do that. Of course at that time, Kitty Litter gave us the finger and kept going anyway.

On-Ahead, I Be Smart and Bimbo on the Run never made it to the hash halt beer stop. Harelip swept the first part of trail to look for them while I hung the beer mugs on my bike rack and drove by the cop cars. When I pulled into the finish, On-Ahead, IBS and Bimbo were all there waiting for beer. What the hell? Apparently they made a small loop and spent the evening pitching pennies in the parking lot. There was a tie for DFL; it was between Harelip, BJz and B&B. We gave it to BJz since it was her birthday and we wanted to see her blow her big whistle again.

As usual, Harelip cleansed the brain, and Kitty Litter got the brainless award for running through the hash halt. Bimbo on the Run received the FRB chain (short-cutter!) and Virgin Robert entertained us with some long story while Wanna Earn an A was waiting for a body part she never got to see. Four wankers who joined the Jolly Roger H3 Team for the Race for the Cure were present and did a special down-down for their efforts in fighting breast cancer (Harelip Dogg, Just Kristina, Wanna Earn an A, and me). Ass whisperer got his own down-down for being late, again. After 25 hashes, you’d think he’d learn to get there on time; somebody should tell him he gets to drink beer even if he’s early.

Side Notes:

1. Standing silently in the circle doesn’t mean you won’t get named, Just Hugh!

2. Glad the hash falls on Major Disaster’s day-off of racing!

3. Blowing your bike through circle Taint Tickler, won’t get you mentioned on the hash trash (oops)!

4. Ed the Sock wants to sit on a block of ice!

5. Just Simon, it’s not porn until we see some skin!

6. The FRB chain will be waiting for Saigon Sally’s return from the boat in a few months!

May the hash go in peace…

On-On,
Casual Friday