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Jolly Roger H3 of the Tampa Bay Metro Area Run #408 Shiggy Fest Hash Saturday, September 13th, 2008 |
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Hare Blessing
Coming soon..
Hash Trash
After time spent
scouting trail and collecting poison ivy, Harelip and I threw a case of
toilet paper on our backs and 100 pounds of flour in our bags and were ready
for action. Raidies Man begged us to lay ladies’ checks on trail and Wanna
Earn an A covered all exposed skin to avoid the wicked ivy that lurked on
trail. We were blessed and on our way; in two different directions. Harelip
took to the train tracks as his legs can leap 100 railroad ties in a single
bound, and I took to the road with my spaghetti legs. The pack was treated
to a beer check at Tilly’s, a little hash-friendly bar that stayed open
longer than scheduled to accommodate our hash group. I’m told songs were
sung, and Hose Beater was mistaken for a homeless dude. The wanks were
treated to a second beer check after given a clue that pointed them back to
start. After filling up with more beer at start, they were rewarded with
another clue that gave them a second set of railroad tracks to pass through.
My ears rang as I was certain we were being cursed at that time.
The timing of the trail worked out better than expected, we laid trail
across the beach which gave the pack a beautiful sunset backdrop before they
hit the swamp and the shiggy from hell. Hose Beater took in stanky water up
to his “danger zone” but did not spill his beer; I think he’s done this
before. Many rolls of toilet paper were emptied in the swamp as we knew it
would be dark by the time wankers hit the mucky water. Banana spiders lurked
everywhere and spider webs made of steel stopped a few of the smaller,
weaker wanks. Harelip and I dodged the webs and spiders by laying trail on
our knees; however something out there bit him hard and fast on the left
cheek of his buttocks that made his fanny balloon up to the size of a
pumpkin.
Near the end of laying trail, we could hear Racing Stripes call out powder
for the front runners, so we dove into the bushes and laid low. We
positioned ourselves out of sight and watched the pack enter trail that ran
them through a parking lot. I hurried to cover Harelip’s white skin with
leaves and dirt as we almost got peed on twice at the edge of the shiggy.
Dabadoo parked the beer van, which might not have been the thing to do just
then, as the pack wanted a third beer stop. B&B was a trooper and stood
guard of the beer van and shooed Wanna Earn An A away from the keg.
From what I could smell, quite a few wanks got their share of stinky water
shiggy. Two ladies’ check were laid, however the FRBs eventually blew
through them (you know who you are, Racing, Raidies, Saigon, Porto, and
Penetration!) as no harriettes were running the hash. They should have had
to pay for that! Choice of a New Penetration came back with trail treasure;
he showed up to circle with the shirt torn off of his back, holding a
bowling ball. I guarantee it had to be a good story and will be a tough one
to beat. Portopussy admitted to cheating and ran the turkey trail on the
road while the He-man eagles stayed in the shiggy with the banana spiders
and toilet paper. Ironically, if anyone could slip through shiggy from hell,
it would be the 69-pound Portopussy.
Fist Deep was tied-off for 50 hashes, DUI got a blowjob, and three of us
drank for blood on trail. Penetration cleansed the skull and the brainless
award was given. Swing low was executed and the bowling tournament
commenced.
On-On!
Casual Friday
Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #408
Shiggy Fest
Saturday, September 13th, 2008
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Where: Meet in the dirt parking lot on the south side of W Commerce St and Picnic Island Blvd, in South Tampa, Florida.
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When: Meet at 5:00 PM, on trail at 6:00 PM sharp.
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Directions: Click here for a map.
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From I-275 & Dale Mabry, in Central Tampa: Go south on Dale Mabry, right, or west on Gandy, left, or south on West Shore for 1.9 miles, slight right onto W Commerce Street for 1.3 miles and find the dirt parking lot on the south side of W Commerce and Picnic Island Blvd.
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From Wesley Chapel, to the north: Go south on I-75, south on I-275 for 15.9 miles, take Exit 45A to the Ashley ramp to Ashley for 1.3 miles, right on Kennedy for .8 miles, left on Willow for .1 miles, right, or west on the Crosstown Expressway (toll) for 3.8 miles, west on Gandy for 1.3 miles, left, or south on West Shore for 1.9 miles, slight right onto W Commerce Street for 1.3 miles and find the dirt parkng lot on the south side of W Commerce and Picnic Island Blvd.
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From St. Pete, to the south: Go east on Gandy Blvd across Tampa Bay, left, or south on West Shore for 1.9 miles, slight right onto W Commerce Street for 1.3 miles and find the dirt parking lot on the south side of W Commerce and Picnic Island Blvd.
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From Brandon, to the east: Go south/west on the Crosstown Expressway (toll) for about 11 miles until it ends, west on Gandy for 1.3 miles, left, or south on West Shore for 1.9 miles, slight right onto W Commerce Street for 1.3 miles and find the dirt parking lot on the south side of W Commerce and Picnic Island Blvd.
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From Clearwater, to the west: Go south on Hwy 19, east on Ulmerton, right, or south on Roosevelt, left or east on Gandy across Tampa Bay, left, or south on West Shore for 1.9 miles, slight right onto W Commerce Street for 1.3 miles and find the dirt parkng lot on the south side of W Commerce and Picnic Island Blvd.
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Hares: HarelipDog & CasualFriday will be the hares.
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Hare Remarks: Yes, it's time for another Harelip Dog/Casual Friday South Tampa Shiggy Fest! This time we will descend upon the corner of W. Commerce St. and Picnic Island Blvd, near Port Tampa. Be prepared to terrorize the kiddies playing on the beach at Picnic Island, then be terrorized by the swamp creatures live in the nearby mangroves. While scouting trail, I saw raccoons, snakes, crabs, bugs, mosquitoes the size of eagles, and a black plastic bag covered with a cloud of flies giving off a stench that would make a sewer worker faint! If you like to keep the blood on the inside of your body, you might want to bring long pants. After scouting, I required a couple of skin grafts! But, hey, I like shiggy scars! Word to the wise, wear long pants! This is an A to B trail, but B is not too far from A, so you'll be able to walk back to your car to drive yourself to the hospital. There will be a walker's trail that is dog friendly. And remember, if you find a T/E split on trail, always take the easy way out!!! So, if you are Hasher enough to endure yet another South Tampa Shiggyfest, then come on down!!! See you there!!!
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Cost: $5 donation.
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On After: If you survive the trail and circle, you'll want to revive yourself at the On-After, which will be at the Green Iguana, located at 4029 S. Westshore. They'll have a live band and drink specials that night! Yeah!
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Directions to the On After: To get there from the starting location, go east and then north on Commerce, which will become Westshore, for about 4 miles and find the Green Iguana on the left. Click here for a map.
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Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.