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Jolly Roger H3 of the Tampa Bay Metro Area Run #405 Thursday, August 30th 2008 |
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It’s the Heat
of the Summer,
and what could be ‘funner’
than running around in the heat!
But this trail is sloppy
And all kinds of sloshy
But I think that that’s kinda neat!
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You’ll surely get wet
So you’d better get set
And arm yourselves to the gills
A soaking that’s super
I’ll be in a stupor
Until I get a water gun that needs no refills
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So, Dab and GRC
Get out, and take the lead
And get ready for your watery attack
Through water and shiggy
Will we need a dingy?
I’ll be happy with a tasty six-pack!
Hash Trash
Gathered in Wesley
Chapel were big guns, little guns, drippy pistols and wanks without guns
hoping to launch water balloons. After a watery blessing of the hares, the
pack was off in all their plastic weapons. I felt well-armed with Wanna Earn
An A’s 500 pound “Orca” water gun with multiple firing holes (sweet!) but
was outdone by Sloppy’s AIM-9 Sidewinder and W.A.D.’s grenade launcher. Like
a dumbass, I asked what a grenade launcher was and lost my left ovary;
lesson learned (what not to ask). Other wankers learned not to complain
about anything, or they received a steady stream of water until complaining
ceased. Allow me to add t hat the beer van is not “goal” and wankers learned
to pour beer and move on quickly while under rapid fire. Another lesson
learned; all wankers are sitting ducks if they were standing still; combat
tradition--duh! Wankers should also learn to stop, drop, and roll on trail
when shouts of “Friendly Fire!” and “Fire in the Hole!” were heard from the
bushes. One last lesson, if the shiggy is still; chances are Oxy-Rambo is
hiding behind them in stealth mode with his gun.
The only major issue with carrying big guns (besides carrying one that
weighs more than the wanker’s body weight), was the more we used them, the
quicker they emptied. A few of us hardcore gunners refilled our large guns
in the green nasty streams that the pack trudged-though on trail. Harelip
Dogg and Saigon Sally were the balloon launching tag-team in the swamp and
the urban tag-team comprised of returners, Whoremoans and Leave It In
Beaver. Guess which tag-team got a hot dose of smelly creek water after
launching balloons at wankers on trail? Thinking back, I do believe I lost
my right ovary and left A-cup to a few under-filled water balloon launchings
in the urban section of trail. nbsp; This leads me to think a body part
sweep might have been a good idea prior to Circle. The beer van slowed us
down as the pack was thirsty and so were our guns. Harelip had a collection
of plastic bags hanging from his FRB chain that were filled with stinky
creek water. I knew I would have hell to pay when I slipped and fell forward
(cough) and grabbed his plastic bags and emptied the stench over his
cranium. Likes to Watch figured out why she was getting steady friendly fire
on her backside while on trail; seems the red cup tucked upright in the
crack of her butt was a fantastic challenge for sharp-shooting gunners to
fill while on the move!
Circle was conducted in Dab and GRC’s pool, which made for entertaining blow
jobs and proved a challenge for the Religious Advisor to read his notes on
soggy paper. Saigon Sally was to be awarded the FRB, but since the chain did
not have water wings attached (Sally would have sunk to the bottom wearing
the chain) he will wear the chain at the next hash above sea level. Last but
not least, 3 1/2 –inch Floppy got his proper send-off as he is off to
Washington D.C.!
We had a few good ideas for future namings:
“Not on the head!” --Just Ryan complained about being hit in the back of the
head with a stream of water on trail. Every time he said, “Not on the head!”
he got shot again…on the head.
“He’s going down!” --A fitting response from Casual Friday while Lightening
Rod’s son dove down in the pool to get his blowjob.
My personal side note: wearing a new red sarong in the pool with a white
top, is not conducive to keeping a white top white, thanks to poor red dye
fastness and chlorine.
Gritty Kitty’s personal note: wearing goggles invites grenade launches in
the face and enhances the experience of swimming with nudists.
On-On Wankers!
Casual Friday