We started on the beach and a couple of aliens passed by but didn't get us any trouble.

So the pack started with a quiet circle. HLD lead us in a whisper but then got a little loud. What do you want, were hashers!
A few fun words & short songs and the pack was off. Across the bridge to grandmother's house we go. Well not to my grandmother's, but guarantee there are a few thousand grandmothers in that hip town of Dunedin.

We were walking well most of us were walking. Wanna & Casual were the only runners. The rest of the pack really just strolled the trail. When we got to the first beer stop Wanna had to in a big way hit the facilities at Walgreen's. Her & Casual were gone for quite some time. B&B went to look & see if they feel in. But there were not to be found.

When B&B returned to the beer stop all had left. Just when she thought she would have to adopt a grandmother HLD came to her rescue.

Some fun zigs and zags through some apartment hallways. Is that Gritty and CF's ass prints on the end tables? Why yes it is.

FRB was GRC. She found it by accident but she'll still have to wear that chain.

Our Brainless award went to Wanna for not knowing when to stop sh*tting.

Now to our Pirate Invantion of a Dunedin Island:

Where to begin?? Gritty started our fun quote weekend by giving us a quote from another hash event so here are a string of quotes that were said by a few drunken hashers and some by a fun drunken little man that gave us many giggles throughout the weekend!

Gritty,
"Hashing is like spring break for old people"

Wing sing
"Always good to have lots of wood!"

HLD
"Welcome to Fantasy Island"

Short Dog (Greg)
"This is a beautiful fu*king island!"

GRC
"Where did all these prickers cum from?"

Lucky Strike
"Who asked for a rake?"

Dab
"I like big flames!"

Short Dog
"Does anyone got a light?"

Slicker than Snot
"I've got a great dental plan!"

Lighting Rod
"Is that a dolphin?"

GRC
"No, it's Harelip's ass!"

Short Dog
"This is a beautiful fu*king Island, & does anyone have a light?"

Wing sing
"Ding, ding, ding, foods ready!"

GRC
"You have to eat"

Knees to cum
"Ripley get off Sally's ass!"

Gritty, Wanna, Slick, & B&B
Hey Greg, shut the fu*k up & go to sleep!"

Gritty
Hey Greg, shut the fu*k up, oh & get me a beer!"

Casual Friday
"Smelling like this is both a blessing and a curse"

WannaEarnAnA
"Yeah, well tell me what you smell here!"

Gritty
"A tided up Indian Princess and a pirate just walking down the road!"

S&M Ken
"Yeah but he's got his Heart on!"

Slicker than Snot
"Yeah I got my Heart on"

Short Dog
"I'm a Fucking Indian!"

HLD
"What Tribe!"

Short Dog
"American"

Casual
"Yeah but what Tribe?"

Short dog
"Fu*king American Tribe God Damnit!"

Gritty
"Hey Greg, get you hand off my thigh"

Short Dog
"but I'm a fu*king American Indian!"

GRC
"Hey dude, do you're pissing in your tent!"

Gritty
"Time for a Naked Hash"

B&B
"Yeah naked virgin hashers"

S&M Ken
"Is that sea-grass?"

I'm sure there are many more but who can remember all that happen.

Thanks to the all the hashers and the civilians that made it so much fun!

Thanks for Wing Sing and Knees to Cum for all their hard work. You rock!

See you, Bed&BucFest

Hash Trash II

Here we go wanks; grab a cold one and gather ‘round. I’m going to do the best I can with what I can recall from the Independence Day/Weekend Pirate Island Invasion. It started out as an incredible challenge since the island was pack in/pack out. My God, when do drunken hashers ever leave with what they came with, and why the hell did my cooler smell like BARF? I digress already. I am here to note that wankers left behind some goodies by Harelip Dogg’s and my tent because I heard the flies buzzing around about 3:30 am Sunday morning. Gross.

I was a late cummer as I got there Friday around 6:00 PM and was picked up by a couple of handsome men and a scantily-clad harriette in a boat. Then I met up with the hashers later on.


Of course I commenced drinking as being the only sober wanker surrounded by a butt load of drunken wanks who have been there all day sucking off a keg, is like watching my drunken parents play poker with our drunken neighbors on a Friday night when I was 5 years old. I dumped my bag in the tent that Harelip so thoughtfully erected for us, and saw more of his erections around the campsite. All the harriettes were grateful.

...and then… (I’ll get to THAT later) I had noticed the island was infested with spike balls and oyster shells. While looking at Harelip’s nekkid ass as I always do, I noticed he had a bad case of diaper rash in the crack of his butt cheeks (did he not wonder why we all screamed when he bent over?). I then put 2 and 2 together. Let’s see, the drunken nekkid Harelip and oyster shells…the poor wank either fell down and went boom or he drug his ass around the beach like my cat drags his ass around on my carpet. I’ve got to say, the shells and barnacles were murder as most of us pulled ninja Tetsu-Bishi and throwing stars out from the soles of our feet. Gritty Kitty had her left big toe cut right off; Harelip taped it back onto her foot at some point. With all the first aid gauze and medical tape we went through that night, we must have looked like zombies from the Thriller video when we hashed Dunedin the next day.

WillSing’s posse proved to be an entertaining crew; not sure who entertained who more, us or them. While it did not take too long for me to get into a drunken stupor (lots of beer and no food); I remember at some point hearing people cheer. I looked up and saw golden balls spreading out in the air like shooting stars! Either a flying elephant had just passed our campsite or GRC was throwing McDonald’s cheeseburgers at us; thank heavens it was the latter! Kudos to her for remembering that drunk hashers with empty stomachs aren’t much fun the next morning! Kudos also to Harelip Dogg for eating my patty and feeding me his cheese bread (okay, I handed you that vis ual on a silver platter). I don’t remember much else that evening.

Now, onto the infamous “wood run.” Some of us went to the mainland to get wood; GRC went to take a dump. We commenced filling up a metal johnboat with wood from WillSing’s van to ferry to the island for the pig roast. While the concept of dragging it behind the motorboat sounded like a good one, I’m here to document it had its flaws. The corner of the johnboat caught the boat’s wake and took a nosedive to the bottom of the sea, leaving wood floating across the water. Without hesitation, I jumped off the side of the boat as I am all about being surrounded by wood! Some bastard told me the water was only 4 feet deep, but at 5’4” my fat ass was treading water! While I was swimming like Mark Spitz and gathering wood beneath my arms, Harelip was standing in waste-high water also gathering what was to help feed us dinner much later that night. At that time I suddenly knew what a dog might feel like when paddling for his life with a friggin’ log in his mouth…”Here, fetch you silly wanker!” Good Lord, if only they held me up like water wings instead of weighing me down like a sack of wet shit, I wouldn’t have needed a beer so badly. WillSing and Harelip pulled the johnboat from 2001 leagues under the sea and got it floating again while Knees2cum manned the motorboat. So we loaded it up again with wet wood and tried it again. / SPAN>Wait a minute…I smell a new “Survivor” episode!

Note to self; next campout add water wings and a cooler that locks to the “things to bring” list.

Now, onto the Jolly Roger hash #394; yay!!! We gathered on the causeway, attempting to be discreet with our beer and initial circle-up. That lasted all of 3 minutes as Harelip’s RA mode kicked in. God love S&M Ken as he threw caution to the wind and joined Saturday’s hash fresh from the civilian world. SNOT had a great costume; he was dressed as a pirate; however he did have a kinky if not down-right wrong accessory. He was wearing some little girl’s sunglasses with pink hearts on them. I asked him where he got those and he said, “… I think they were left in my car by an unknown patron.” WTF? Now I’m not a mom, but I know that is all kinds of effed-up! Hell, I couldn’t make up anything better than that! Gritty Kitty was dressed for the occasion as she was playing the part of the Indian Squaw, defending the island from the pirates. At some point in the hash (okay, I had already been drinking since my swim meet) she lost the fight and was lassoed by S&M. We did show her a little bit of mercy as we left her drinking arm free from the elbow to the cup.

…and then…I found myself running with Wanna Earn An A. She is such a trooper, she was running in some crazy sandals and blew out the sole of her shoe. She pushed on and jogged while raising her right knee to her chest with her shoe foreskin flapping in the breeze with every stride. We were on our way to the beer stop when she decided it was time to hit a Walgreens. I barely remember suggesting another place to pee, but she is an avid fan of the Walgreens’ facilities. We went in and found a nice, clean, air-conditioned ladies’ room. Poor Wanna, she must have been stopped-up for a week, as she just kept on going. A pretty young princess entered the bathroom and froze; I’m guessing it was from the smell. I pointed to the empty stall for her just as Wanna said, “How do you know when you’re done?” I started laughing and the princess exited stage right like a bat out of hell; she’d be sure to have nightmares for a few nights. As both Wanna and I made our exit, she did a “180” for a return engagement and said she wasn’t done yet. Good God! I had to walk outside to blow the stink off me.

…and then…while walking with Pocahontas (Gritty Kitty), she decided she had to take a pee. While we ducked around a wall, we immediately ran into some guy who almost pissed his own pants out of fright. Okay, so much for peeing there, we then asked him where we could go. God love him, he didn’t ask why two women were walking around with one dressed as a tied-up Pocahontas being led by the other with the rope. He pointed us to a bathroom in a restaurant. Nice. Of course we walked through a bunch of wide-eyed adult patrons who were holding their children as tight as they possibly could. They were still holding them when we exited the ladies’ room the same way we entered. We waved at the kiddies but their moms wouldn’t allow them to return our friendly gesture. Eventually we took a break and parked ourselves on some interesting chairs in an apartment complex; the hard surface was cold and there was much rejoicing.

In the circle the shit award was appropriately given to Wanna Earn An A for not knowing when to stop crapping. Slicker Than Snot on a Doorknob got his long-waited for blowjob from Gritty Kitty. I’d like to know how the hell the whistle got tied to the inside of her little outfit since her arms were tied to her body. I have my own conclusions and would have been happy to help! Yeehaaa!

We all boarded the boat and head back to the island for a pig roast and more beer. Eventually those of us who could still talk parked our drunken arses at a picnic table and started what seemed like a very long, yet extremely funny story, bits and pieces improved by each one of us. It is amazing what drunken wankers can think of at the drop of a hat when handed the next sentence of a made-up story; “…and then….!” I must say, this was one of those “Ya had to be there!” situations. If only I brought my camcorder…

The next morning we tore down camp and disembarked the island picking up our civilian world where we left it Friday, July 4, 2008. Happy Independence Day!

ON-Aaarrrrgggggg!!!-ON,

Casual Friday

• What: This is a hash followed by a campout on one of the Dunedin Islands, in Dunedin FL.

• Where: Meet on the first beach on the south side of Causeway Blvd, in Dunedin, Florida.  Its the first beach on the left (south), after crossing the bridge between Ward Island and Dunedin Causeway.

• When: Meet at 2:00 PM, pack away on trail at 3:00 PMish.

• Directions: Click here for a map to a Causeway Blvd address that is about 1/4 mile east of the starting location. Click here for showing the exact starting location.

  • From Ocala, to the north: Go south on I-75, west on Hwy 56 which becomes Hwy 54 for 15.3 miles, left on Trinity Blvd for 5.5 miles, left on E Lake Rd for 7.2 miles, right on Tampa Rd for 2.2 miles, left on Hwy 19 for 1.3 miles, right on Curlew Rd for about 3.3 miles, which becomes Causeway Blvd, after crossing Bayshore Blvd and find the parking area on the beach on the left/south side of Dunedin Blvd, on Dunedin Causeway.

  • From St. Pete, to the south: Go north on Hwy 19, left on Curlew Rd for about  3.3 miles, which becomes Causeway Blvd, after crossing Bayshore Blvd and find the parking area on the beach on the left/south side of Dunedin Blvd, on Dunedin Causeway.

  • From Orlando, to the east: Go west on I-4, north on I-275, west on Hillsborough, at Exit 47B, for 12.9 miles, continue on Tampa Rd for 2.9 miles, left on Curlew Rd for 6.3  miles, which becomes Causeway Blvd, after crossing Bayshore Blvd and find the parking area on the beach on the left/south side of Dunedin Blvd, on Dunedin Causeway.

• Trail: Trail will be have mild shiggy and be about 3 miles in length.

• Hares: Dabadoo & GayRodeoClown will be the hares.

• Hash Cost: $5 donation.

• On After: The on after will be on an island about 1 mile south of the starting location. Click here for a map. The on after will be hosted by WillSing4Head and crew. Boat transportation will be provided for those interested from the hash starting location. However, if you want to go out to the island earlier in the day and set up your tent, boat transportation will be available as early as 10:00 AM, on Saturday. Or, if you want to come out on Friday night and help set up the campout, boat transportation will be available as early as 2:00 PM on Friday. A maximum of 30 people will be allowed to participate in the campout on the island and an additional 20 people just for dinner on Saturday night.

• Campout (Food & Beverage) Costs:  Cost for workers & out-of-towners is $45 for the full weekend (Friday afternoon thru Sunday afternoon). For those just wanting to come out on Saturday night, it will be $30.  Send an e-mail to Tom "WillSing4Head" Workman, at tworkman3@tampabay.rr.com, to reserve your spot, or call or 727-219-3775. An additional $5 hash will be collected at the start of the hash, which is a separate event.

• Boat Transportation:  For boat transportation to the island and general info about the campout, call WillSing4Head at 727-219-3775.