Jolly Roger H3

of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #392
Thursday, June 25th, 2008

 

 



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Hare Blessing

 The Harriette who we call Goo
Is whose trail that we've come to 'do'
Our legs will be crampin'
Cause we're running in Brandon
Where the shiggy is like running in stew

Brandon's a town full of slackers
Where the big trucks are driven by crackers
But they're smarter than us
They're not riding the bus
We're the ones looking like laggards!

YBFs and BTs and Checkbacks!
What tricks does Goo have in her hash-pack?
As long as there's beer checks
And a couple of tit checks
We'll be happy as pigs in a paddock!

Bless this Hare!
Bless this Trail!
Coppus no catchus
Cracker no shootus
'Skeeters' no biteus
Lightning no ZAPus
Coitus no interruptus!

Hash Trash

After a full week of hashing that saw two kennels combine for three hashes last week, culminating in the Triple Crown of Hashing, it was not surprising that this week's hash was 'lightly attended'; especially at a hash all the way out in BFE...otherwise known as Brandon.  To say that we were in the sticks, unfortunately, is not correct.  I'm sure, at one point, Professional Park was considered "in the sticks", but now it is right in the middle of "suburbia". GooLite Special did her best to pre-lay a semi-live trail, but the rainstorms and lightning conspired to washed away all of her pre-laid marks. 

        Since we were in a new location, or at least one that hasn't seen a lot of hash activity in a while, we were glad to see some new faces at the hash. Fist Deep brought her own harem of virgins, including Virgin Davis and Virgin Lori.  There was also Virgin Grant who says he found us on the internet.

Far From Fukin also graced our presence after nearly a three-month hash hiatus.  But where was he??? He reported that he was in Brazil, where apparently they don't hash!!! That's what I call backsliding.

        While we were waiting on the trail to begin, Bringing Sexy Wet Back showed off her new tat...well, it wasn't a tattoo, it was a bruise the size of Kansas, on her leg, which she proudly proclaims she received from bouncing off Dab and GRC's bed!  Now there's an unlikely threesome! Not to be outdone, Gritty Kitty sported her own set of fake "ink" with the coolest tattooed shirt...strange but true.  Gritty Kitty, just back from the jHavelina H3's 1000th, wouldn't tell a tale from that well-publicized event. I guess what happens in the jHavelina, stays with the jHavelina!

        After a quick Hash Blessing, the pack sent Goo on her way, but not before dousing Harelip with enough flour to lay my own friggin’ trail! After some quick hash beerobics and chalk talk, the hounds were released and the pack was away to go sniff out the trail...but not before Caught From Behind , looking like a plain clothes cop, showed up at the last minute to drive the beer truck!  Whew!  A pre-laid trail with no beer stops sounds like a hash-foul to me!!!  But don't worry, Goo, we know you did your best!!!

        Soon, the pack was solving the trail.  I Be Smart and On Ahead went right for the shiggy, which was really just neatly trimmed grass, that lead to the gator pond.  Finding nothing, they left the trail-sniffing to the real dogs, On-On and Will Sing for Head's mutt (ToTo?  Just kidding). Not far down the road, we were faced with our first "Ladies Check".  Wanna Earn An A, wearing her knee-high socks, and Fist Deep, in her beer-goggles, zip off in opposite directions, quickly solving trail for the rest of the pack, led by the speed demon, Just Joe, who runs as fast as Sonic the Hedgehog.  Hmmmm, naming? 

        With a couple more Ladies Checks, Check Backs, and a YBF or two, thrown in for good measure, the pack finally made it to the beer stop.

CFB is there, proudly spilling beer for the walkers and runners.  Virgin Lori, being of competitive spirit, got there so far ahead of the pack that she had time to go 'water the lilies' before the pack arrived.

   Whew!  OxyMoron and Pleasure Chest were speeding along at their own pace.
 
        Once everyone arrived....wait for it, wait for it.... Including Fart and Waterfoul, and enjoyed a beer or five, we were finally released again, but not before asking CFB for a clue.  Does he have one???

NOOOOOooooo!  But, using a thoughtful gesture with his elbow, he points us north, where GRC and Wanna A were already headed. 

        Corn Star and Just Laura stopped the traffic while the rest of the pack stumbled across the street and Knees2Cum was dragged along by Will Sing's mutt.  At this point, poor Smells Like Fish is carrying Bullshit, who was injured from a previous stint as FRB.  Sounds like bs to me!

        Soon, we are back at the On-Start, where Goo, CFB, and strangely enough, Far From Fuking and Just Joe were all waiting for the rest of the pack!!!  Without too much delay, Xena’s call circled us up for Reeeeeeeligion!!!

        Starting off with a Trail Trial, the pack almost unanimously deemed it acceptable, except for a few hold outs. 

    Then, our Virgins, David, Grant and Lori, were called into circle to entertain us with a skit.  The moral of their story was, "We finally found a home!"  And we are honored to welcome them all to our Jolly Roger Hash!!!  Jolly Roger H3 will always be your home!!! On-Her to our new Virgins!  Not to be outdone, Just Jerry, who was Virgin Jerry last Thursday, returned for his blow job, although it looked like Fist Deep had to show him how to do it.

        Shot By A Whore and Wet Box were called in for "almost" standing up the hash.  They were all dressed up, but it seems like their other 'date' of going to a movie premier didn't work out...so they showed up at the hash instead.  Can't screw?  Might as well DRINK!

        We wanted to present the Brainless Award to Xena...unfortunately we didn't have one!  Why?!?!?!  Because Venomous Cooter brought Pick Your Penetration from the Other Orlando H3 who turned out to be a Hash Thief and stole our Brainless Award!!!  There was some restless chatter among the hash that we should mount a pillaging party to retrieve our lost treasure. However the pack was quickly quieted when Dab produced a new, shiny Brainless Award, which he presented to Xena, the owner of much lost property, which he aimlessly left at Dab and GRC's house over the weekend.

        And maybe our proudest moment of the evening was when we got to tie one off for Caught From Behind for his 100th Jolly Roger Hash!!! Yea! Keep cumming back!

        Well, there are more opportunities to hash this weekend with the Tampa Bay Beach Stumble. Check TBH3.com for the details. 

        Next Jolly Roger Hash is Thursday, July 3rd, 2008, Trail #393. It's Pork The Clown's Birthday Hash and we'll meet somewhere in Temple Terrace. The exact starting location is still to be determined since she is still pre-laying the trail. Check back after Monday night, June 30th.

At least we know that the On-After will be at Beer Belly's, located at 5016 E Busch Blvd.; where they will have $5 pitcher and karaoke after 9:00 PM.

See you there!!!
ON=ON
Harelip Dog

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #392
Thursday, June 25th, 2008

  • Where: Meet in the parking lot behind the Lake Brandon Professional Park/Center, located near 1007 Professional Park Dr, in Brandon, Florida.

  • When: Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM sharp!

  • Directions: Click here for a map..

    • From Wesley Chapel, to the north: Go south on I-75, north on Hwy 301, at Exit 254, for 3.1 miles, right on Causeway Blvd, for 1.4 miles, right on Providence Lakes Blvd, for .1 miles, left on Lake Brandon Circle for .2 miles, right on Nikki Dr and then an immediate right on Professional Park Dr and look for hashers.

    • From Bradenton/Sarasota, to the south: Go north on I-75, north on Hwy 301, at Exit 254, for 2.5 miles, right on Causeway Blvd, for 1.4 miles, right on Providence Lakes Blvd, for .1 miles, left on Lake Brandon Circle for .2 miles, right on Nikki Dr and then an immediate right on Professional Park Dr and look for hashers.

    • From Lakeland, to the east: Go west on I-4, south  on I-75, north on Hwy 301, at Exit 254, for 3.1 miles, right on Causeway Blvd, for 1.4 miles, right on Providence Lakes Blvd, for .1 miles, left on Lake Brandon Circle for .2 miles, right on Nikki Dr and then an immediate right on Professional Park Dr and look for hashers.

    • From Tampa & St. Pete, to the west: Go north on I-275, east on I-4, south on I-75, north on Hwy 301, at Exit 254, for 3.1 miles, right on Causeway Blvd, for 1.4 miles, right on Providence Lakes Blvd, for .1 miles, left on Lake Brandon Circle for .2 miles, right on Nikki Dr and then an immediate right on Professional Park Dr and look for hashers.

    • From South Tampa: Go east on the Crosstown Expressway, south on Falkenburg Rd at Exit 14, left on Causeway, for .7 miles, right on Providence Lakes Blvd, for .1 miles, left on Lake Brandon Circle for .2 miles, right on Nikki Dr and then an immediate right on Professional Park Dr and look for hashers.

  • Hare: GooLiteSpecial will be the hare.

  • Cost: $5 donation.

  • On After: The on after will be at the Buffalo Wild Wings, located at 2055 Badlands Dr, in Brandon, Florida. To get there from the starting location, go east on Professional Park Dr, left on Nikkie Dr, and immediate right on Lake Brandon Dr, for .1 miles, left on Gornto Lake Rd, for .2 miles, right on Causeway Blvd, for .3 miles, left on Providence Blvd, for .3 miles, left on Badlands Dr and find the Buffalo Wild Wings.

  • Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.



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